dear friends,
Was invited to visit a perfume factory near Tambaram, Chennai today.
The hosts were absolutely delightful and warm in inviting us in. The entire family is in the business. One son manages the business and the other studied perfumes in France which is an asset in the family business. Makes sense too.
They mix and match very high quality perfumes which are Eco friendly, have as their base some herbs like the cinnamon, cloves, fruity like lemon, orange and floral like the rose, lavender, etc.
I loved the cinnamon which lingered on in the conference room even after we returned back after 3 hours of factory rounds. The best among the lot were those of orange which had a Brazilian orange as its essence and my favorite, the divine sandalwood. I requested and carried home these two samples to enjoy back home for later. I am glad I got what I was searching for a very long time indeed.
I stuffed my handbag with swabs of different dips from many perfume mixes gives out such wonderful smells of fruits, herbs, flowers and roots. What a beautiful bouquet!
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Friday, May 7, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Stress in life
Dear Friends!
We all have stress. We have to face it all the time in our lives right from we are this high in childhood.
It is mild and perhaps we have support from our near and dear ones in our childhood so we manage it somehow.
Into our teens we see it in a different way. Stress due to poor marks scored at the school exams, peer pressure for some things and how we deal with it, friends whom we discover are not really our friends! All this plus those embarrassing questions from our parents who want to know what's happening in our lives outside home.
For some a love failure or a crush could make matters even worse.
But it is friends again who support us and we somehow sail through these years without health issues.
Then its college time. This is the most difficult of all in many people's lives. There's lot more exposure to others from many places than the same friends we have been seeing at school for a long time since childhood - of course, it depends on whether we have studied at the same school for 14 long years!
At office we face another set of people and we are lucky if we have good humans as our superiors rather than those who feel threatened at every shake of their chair to mean that we are up to grab it!
In the efforts to prove ourselves worthy of our jobs we learn, re-learn, unlearn many things at work. We make mistakes, get pulled up, never make mistakes, get pulled up, work hard, but never get praised, never work hard but feel we ought to be praised for attempting to attend office :D
Some bosses put up and some don't suffer upstarts or juniors kindly.
Through all this we learn big and small things which mold and shape our lives.
We are not what we were 10 years back, well even 10 hours back if a massive event had occurred to change our lives forever!
So what does all these things tell us? Life has its ups and downs. How can we wish only the happy events to take place all the time in our lives. How can we also be depressed and bogged down only with bad events all our lives. Is it not then in our own hands to try to make our lives better by taking whatever positive steps we can to damage-control our mistakes, be ready to learn from our mistakes and try to lead a calm and peaceful life.
Stress can be dealt at every turning point in our lives by keeping our balance in happy as well as not-so-happy times. This does not mean we should savor in the happiness an event brings. Not just cling to it all the time is the secret of letting it go. This letting go after a while is to be applied to both happy and sad events. Let go means not simply trying to forget but to learn to move on with more maturity and strength. To get up and move on with the set of goals we have before us. If goals are too long to reach, it makes sense in breaking them into smaller segments so that the length of time does not bog us down which could result in our losing what little interest we started the work with.
Finally, the best way to de-stress is to talk to someone close who is not judgmental about us, or chant some routine mantras repeatedly until we can divert our minds in a more positive way and meditation is another excellent form to overcome our disturbed minds.
In these modern times it may be hard to find friends who have time to lend an ear to our problems but chanting and meditation can be practiced to good effect to put our lives back in order!
Cheers!
Happy chanting.
Mahalakshmi
We all have stress. We have to face it all the time in our lives right from we are this high in childhood.
It is mild and perhaps we have support from our near and dear ones in our childhood so we manage it somehow.
Into our teens we see it in a different way. Stress due to poor marks scored at the school exams, peer pressure for some things and how we deal with it, friends whom we discover are not really our friends! All this plus those embarrassing questions from our parents who want to know what's happening in our lives outside home.
For some a love failure or a crush could make matters even worse.
But it is friends again who support us and we somehow sail through these years without health issues.
Then its college time. This is the most difficult of all in many people's lives. There's lot more exposure to others from many places than the same friends we have been seeing at school for a long time since childhood - of course, it depends on whether we have studied at the same school for 14 long years!
At office we face another set of people and we are lucky if we have good humans as our superiors rather than those who feel threatened at every shake of their chair to mean that we are up to grab it!
In the efforts to prove ourselves worthy of our jobs we learn, re-learn, unlearn many things at work. We make mistakes, get pulled up, never make mistakes, get pulled up, work hard, but never get praised, never work hard but feel we ought to be praised for attempting to attend office :D
Some bosses put up and some don't suffer upstarts or juniors kindly.
Through all this we learn big and small things which mold and shape our lives.
We are not what we were 10 years back, well even 10 hours back if a massive event had occurred to change our lives forever!
So what does all these things tell us? Life has its ups and downs. How can we wish only the happy events to take place all the time in our lives. How can we also be depressed and bogged down only with bad events all our lives. Is it not then in our own hands to try to make our lives better by taking whatever positive steps we can to damage-control our mistakes, be ready to learn from our mistakes and try to lead a calm and peaceful life.
Stress can be dealt at every turning point in our lives by keeping our balance in happy as well as not-so-happy times. This does not mean we should savor in the happiness an event brings. Not just cling to it all the time is the secret of letting it go. This letting go after a while is to be applied to both happy and sad events. Let go means not simply trying to forget but to learn to move on with more maturity and strength. To get up and move on with the set of goals we have before us. If goals are too long to reach, it makes sense in breaking them into smaller segments so that the length of time does not bog us down which could result in our losing what little interest we started the work with.
Finally, the best way to de-stress is to talk to someone close who is not judgmental about us, or chant some routine mantras repeatedly until we can divert our minds in a more positive way and meditation is another excellent form to overcome our disturbed minds.
In these modern times it may be hard to find friends who have time to lend an ear to our problems but chanting and meditation can be practiced to good effect to put our lives back in order!
Cheers!
Happy chanting.
Mahalakshmi
Sunday, May 2, 2010
House Cleaning!
Dear Friends,
Today there were some guests who wanted to come over for just half hour to see us. Thank god they informed us 3 hours ahead though in the morning when I should have been cooking for the day!
Instead I just went into folding clothes, re-arranging furniture and generally putting things in order as the maid would come only towards noon. By the time I came out of the bath, they had already come visiting.
One thing about frequent guests or visitors is that we try to put things in order so much more often! Otherwise we just let things be as other work keeps us busy.
But in these days when we have very little time for much else than our routines we could do with help in such labor intensive cleaning work. Maybe if the concept of students offering to help in exchange for some money on an hourly basis were to catch up in India then things would be so good. But Indian parents never like their kids to do such types of work for others. Many don't encourage their kids to do menial jobs like sweeping, mopping, dusting around their own homes so working elsewhere even if it is for money is next to impossible. But these very same kids take up jobs like these while they pursue their studies abroad to earn extras for their upkeep. Working at such jobs inside India is a big no, no for most parents as they feel a loss of their prestige or dignity.
I will sign off now.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Today there were some guests who wanted to come over for just half hour to see us. Thank god they informed us 3 hours ahead though in the morning when I should have been cooking for the day!
Instead I just went into folding clothes, re-arranging furniture and generally putting things in order as the maid would come only towards noon. By the time I came out of the bath, they had already come visiting.
One thing about frequent guests or visitors is that we try to put things in order so much more often! Otherwise we just let things be as other work keeps us busy.
But in these days when we have very little time for much else than our routines we could do with help in such labor intensive cleaning work. Maybe if the concept of students offering to help in exchange for some money on an hourly basis were to catch up in India then things would be so good. But Indian parents never like their kids to do such types of work for others. Many don't encourage their kids to do menial jobs like sweeping, mopping, dusting around their own homes so working elsewhere even if it is for money is next to impossible. But these very same kids take up jobs like these while they pursue their studies abroad to earn extras for their upkeep. Working at such jobs inside India is a big no, no for most parents as they feel a loss of their prestige or dignity.
I will sign off now.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Drizzling in Chennai
Dear Friends,
Yesterday an air-conditioner was fixed for the 2nd bedroom in view of the terrible summer temperatures ahead. It was cool inside with all windows and the door closed. Blissful sleep took over sooner than in the past.
Early morning ritual of drawing back the curtains and opening of the roadside window gave a pleasant surprise as the roads were wet with rains, a cool breeze brought in the most pleasant of all smells; of damp earth bringing back memories of my childhood days in the vast playground of Tuljaduga, opp Mozamjahi Market, Hyderabad. As children we had fun in releasing paper boats gently into the temporary pools of water - all drenched but never caring for the cold, cough and fever to come. Woh kaakaz ki kashti woh baarish ka paani.. by Jagjit Singh rings in my ears and brings tears of nostalgia.
Even otherwise, today being May Day and a declared holiday, the day had to start just as if we ordered for it.
Made an absolutely great Pilau using mint+fresh coriander, cubed potatoes, the masalas and the works! My youngest sis had once made this for me at Vadalur when I was carrying my twins. Its another matter that I try, try and try to recreate the recipe. At last count still trying :D
Had a leisurely brunch with no particular agenda for the day ahead except to plan a few drawings for our new upcoming flat at Kubera Nagar, near Velachery.
So friends, even at 14.00Hrs now the sun could not heat up the air. Its pretty cool, cool. What a great day indeed. How I wish such days never end!!
Enjoy your May Day.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Yesterday an air-conditioner was fixed for the 2nd bedroom in view of the terrible summer temperatures ahead. It was cool inside with all windows and the door closed. Blissful sleep took over sooner than in the past.
Early morning ritual of drawing back the curtains and opening of the roadside window gave a pleasant surprise as the roads were wet with rains, a cool breeze brought in the most pleasant of all smells; of damp earth bringing back memories of my childhood days in the vast playground of Tuljaduga, opp Mozamjahi Market, Hyderabad. As children we had fun in releasing paper boats gently into the temporary pools of water - all drenched but never caring for the cold, cough and fever to come. Woh kaakaz ki kashti woh baarish ka paani.. by Jagjit Singh rings in my ears and brings tears of nostalgia.
Even otherwise, today being May Day and a declared holiday, the day had to start just as if we ordered for it.
Made an absolutely great Pilau using mint+fresh coriander, cubed potatoes, the masalas and the works! My youngest sis had once made this for me at Vadalur when I was carrying my twins. Its another matter that I try, try and try to recreate the recipe. At last count still trying :D
Had a leisurely brunch with no particular agenda for the day ahead except to plan a few drawings for our new upcoming flat at Kubera Nagar, near Velachery.
So friends, even at 14.00Hrs now the sun could not heat up the air. Its pretty cool, cool. What a great day indeed. How I wish such days never end!!
Enjoy your May Day.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Monday, April 26, 2010
Basic Manners
Dear Friends,
Most of us are civil to others. We smile back, we return back greetings even if someone we do not know smiles or wishes us.
But there are a few who have such a massive ego, so badly behaved, think no other human is equal to them so none exists for them. They just ignore others. Just yesterday, for example, I had the misfortune to ring a known number of a relative from another line as my usual line was out of order. The person at the other end knows who I am, he knows my voice, moreover, this call was for his wife and not for him on 'her' mobile!
I always wish 'good morning' as a habit. I did it this time too. This man dint have the courtesy to return a greeting and could only manage a 'hnnn' so I repeated my greetings yet again and knew that he had recognized my voice yet no reply came back. But I should thank God for small mercies as he must have handed over the cell phone to her and we wished each other and had a normal conversation. I dint mention it to her as she already knows about his bad behavior.
I wonder what such men or women think of themselves. We think they do not have even the common courtesy to return back a simple greeting even if the call was not meant for them. It shows their lack of upbringing and good social graces.
I should have got over this soon enough if it had occurred occasionally. It occurs each and every time when he answers the call!
I wanted to share this big joke about such people thinking there is none equal to them in anything.
God above surely is watching and He knows how to deal with not only medicines but also what dosage to give to all of us from time to time in the drama called life.
I pray people don't wait until taught the hard way to be civil to fellow beings.
Take care.
Mahalakshmi
Most of us are civil to others. We smile back, we return back greetings even if someone we do not know smiles or wishes us.
But there are a few who have such a massive ego, so badly behaved, think no other human is equal to them so none exists for them. They just ignore others. Just yesterday, for example, I had the misfortune to ring a known number of a relative from another line as my usual line was out of order. The person at the other end knows who I am, he knows my voice, moreover, this call was for his wife and not for him on 'her' mobile!
I always wish 'good morning' as a habit. I did it this time too. This man dint have the courtesy to return a greeting and could only manage a 'hnnn' so I repeated my greetings yet again and knew that he had recognized my voice yet no reply came back. But I should thank God for small mercies as he must have handed over the cell phone to her and we wished each other and had a normal conversation. I dint mention it to her as she already knows about his bad behavior.
I wonder what such men or women think of themselves. We think they do not have even the common courtesy to return back a simple greeting even if the call was not meant for them. It shows their lack of upbringing and good social graces.
I should have got over this soon enough if it had occurred occasionally. It occurs each and every time when he answers the call!
I wanted to share this big joke about such people thinking there is none equal to them in anything.
God above surely is watching and He knows how to deal with not only medicines but also what dosage to give to all of us from time to time in the drama called life.
I pray people don't wait until taught the hard way to be civil to fellow beings.
Take care.
Mahalakshmi
Saturday, April 24, 2010
To Marry or not to...2!
Dear Friends,
Here are some of the gems while I got talking to the girl's father and mother in an effort to get the pair to get married but alas to no avail.
The gems which flowed out from the father's mouth are for you to read:
"We are neighbors and were very good family friends. We used to help the boy's family by teaching them tuition. They also used to help us as neighbors. My younger brother taught his sisters but did he fall in love with any of them like this boy is now doing? How can this boy dare love my daughter? Our castes are different and we will never accept him as our son-in-law?"
I gently had to point out that in love two were involved. His daughter knowing about caste and creed fell in love with her neighbor. She was also equally responsible for taking this forward. But the hard heart of the parent would not melt at all!
The boy would always be found near his kitchen window from where he could look at the kitchen window of his lady love. He would make a peculiar noise and get the girl to come to the kitchen. We live in a close by flat and can see both flats from an angle.
I would often wonder 2 years back why all of a sudden this girl was all the time washing vessels in the kitchen post lunch and dinner past midnight at times, making all the jangling noises. :)
This boy had no other outside interest and would be tinkering with something or drinking water now and then perhaps finding some excuse to be near the kitchen window, the scene of all action. (Now he never comes this side at all and his new bride is seen cooking lovingly for him each morning and evening).
Once it so happened that the parents stumbled upon this shocking news even while the window peeping was going on. On one occasion her mother came to the window and there the boy was, smiling away at his mother-in-law to-be. But the response must have been unexpected for the boy as a pin roller was waved menacingly at him to shoo him away from there!!
The stand-off went on for two years with the girl's parents curbing her movement outside her home.
Before I could meet and counsel the boy last year I had a session with the girl's side and asked them point blank what they intended to do about it all.
Pat came the reply that they will not approve of this marriage. The mother chipped in to say they will rather be all dead than permit this alliance!
The father said he would rather sell his flat here and go somewhere very far away. He begged me to advice the boy to marry another girl and forget about his daughter. When I inquired whether their daughter went along with what they thought, they said she was not even prepared to step out of house leave alone accept this boy and bring shame to their family.
I would have loved so much to have a word with her myself, but it was not to be as they used to whisk her away to some relative's house often and there was no knowing whether she was at home or not. I dint want to over-step myself by asking for her or going to their house in search of her.
It was then that the boy met and got my advice to move on with his life. It was a happy ending for him but a sad ending for this girl who is still not married for reasons unknown.
In no time he found himself a girl from his office belonging to another caste.
The boy is a Muslim and the girl, a Hindu. All this will haunt me until I see the girl also settling down in matrimony as her brother and sister are married and have babies and it is but natural for a young girl to feel when she sees all others leading happy lives with their spouses.
God bless us all.
Mahalakshmi
Here are some of the gems while I got talking to the girl's father and mother in an effort to get the pair to get married but alas to no avail.
The gems which flowed out from the father's mouth are for you to read:
"We are neighbors and were very good family friends. We used to help the boy's family by teaching them tuition. They also used to help us as neighbors. My younger brother taught his sisters but did he fall in love with any of them like this boy is now doing? How can this boy dare love my daughter? Our castes are different and we will never accept him as our son-in-law?"
I gently had to point out that in love two were involved. His daughter knowing about caste and creed fell in love with her neighbor. She was also equally responsible for taking this forward. But the hard heart of the parent would not melt at all!
The boy would always be found near his kitchen window from where he could look at the kitchen window of his lady love. He would make a peculiar noise and get the girl to come to the kitchen. We live in a close by flat and can see both flats from an angle.
I would often wonder 2 years back why all of a sudden this girl was all the time washing vessels in the kitchen post lunch and dinner past midnight at times, making all the jangling noises. :)
This boy had no other outside interest and would be tinkering with something or drinking water now and then perhaps finding some excuse to be near the kitchen window, the scene of all action. (Now he never comes this side at all and his new bride is seen cooking lovingly for him each morning and evening).
Once it so happened that the parents stumbled upon this shocking news even while the window peeping was going on. On one occasion her mother came to the window and there the boy was, smiling away at his mother-in-law to-be. But the response must have been unexpected for the boy as a pin roller was waved menacingly at him to shoo him away from there!!
The stand-off went on for two years with the girl's parents curbing her movement outside her home.
Before I could meet and counsel the boy last year I had a session with the girl's side and asked them point blank what they intended to do about it all.
Pat came the reply that they will not approve of this marriage. The mother chipped in to say they will rather be all dead than permit this alliance!
The father said he would rather sell his flat here and go somewhere very far away. He begged me to advice the boy to marry another girl and forget about his daughter. When I inquired whether their daughter went along with what they thought, they said she was not even prepared to step out of house leave alone accept this boy and bring shame to their family.
I would have loved so much to have a word with her myself, but it was not to be as they used to whisk her away to some relative's house often and there was no knowing whether she was at home or not. I dint want to over-step myself by asking for her or going to their house in search of her.
It was then that the boy met and got my advice to move on with his life. It was a happy ending for him but a sad ending for this girl who is still not married for reasons unknown.
In no time he found himself a girl from his office belonging to another caste.
The boy is a Muslim and the girl, a Hindu. All this will haunt me until I see the girl also settling down in matrimony as her brother and sister are married and have babies and it is but natural for a young girl to feel when she sees all others leading happy lives with their spouses.
God bless us all.
Mahalakshmi
Friday, April 23, 2010
To Marry or not to?
Dear Friends,
I am withholding names of concerned people in the event I am going to narrate today.
Sister of a man aged about 38 came for help last year around this time. she wanted her brother to forget the girl he loved who refused to come out of her house to marry him against her parents' wishes, perhaps.
It was two years since there was heavy silence from both sides.
Boy seemed to lose interest in his life and was quite frustrated.
After work he would come home and even if he were to request for some tea, his sisters at home would tell him to go find a wife who would make it for him as they wont be around for long making him tea all their lives!
Which was true yet he wont budge nor look at any proposals his family would get for him.
Then one day his sister invited me over to her son's birthday party and the boy got talking to me. We were talking for the first time though I knew his background and about his refusal to get married to anyone else.
As we got talking he felt he should come to me for some counseling and advice.
I fixed a convenient time and asked him to air out whatever he felt. As usual he dint want to let down the girl he loved and dint understand why the girl dint have the courage to take a bold step when he was prepared to take her in as his wife.
Caste plays an important role in India and that was the primary reason for the girl's parents refusing to listen to any reasoning by the girl to get married to him.
I talked to him less and listened more to what he had to say.
When it was my turn to talk i reasoned out to him.
I pointed out that he was perhaps wasting his time waiting for this girl to come when she dint have the guts to take a few steps towards his house. Incidentally they both are neighbors and loved each other for more than 3 years!
I told him he was not getting any younger and that he needed a companion in life and it was time to get settled with the few proposals that still came his way.
His ideal time according to his chart cast by me was before July, 2009 and I told him so. I also pointed out that her parents were against her marrying him when they talked to me last about the matter, though I could never meet the girl who was always at home and there was always someone around. So no question of ever talking to her. I knew that this boy was wasting his time waiting for her.
I convinced him that he has to get married and the time was quite short and if not it could very well take even longer to find a suitable bride for him.
This was April, 2009.
In June 1st week the sister came smiling to invite me for her brother's marriage and gave me a generous compliment of turning around her brother to listen to reason when the same turned on deaf ears for so long however much his family tried to talk to him about it.
The wedding was fixed for July 6th, 2009 and the girl was his colleague from the same office he worked in.
This girl was also from a different caste from his.
Anyways the marriage took place and the girl was also in her mid thirties.
God is great. I see the couple happily going about leading a happy life from time to time. I am happy for them.
Yet I feel sad whenever I see or meet this girl who is still not married.
Her parents are now quite free of the tension from this boy who is now married. Whether they are going to take any concrete steps to get her married is to be seen and not discussed or talked about.
I watch silently with prayers in my heart for this girl whose parents wont budge to give her that happiness of selecting her own mate!
Only God can save such girls.
Take care.
Mahalakshmi
I am withholding names of concerned people in the event I am going to narrate today.
Sister of a man aged about 38 came for help last year around this time. she wanted her brother to forget the girl he loved who refused to come out of her house to marry him against her parents' wishes, perhaps.
It was two years since there was heavy silence from both sides.
Boy seemed to lose interest in his life and was quite frustrated.
After work he would come home and even if he were to request for some tea, his sisters at home would tell him to go find a wife who would make it for him as they wont be around for long making him tea all their lives!
Which was true yet he wont budge nor look at any proposals his family would get for him.
Then one day his sister invited me over to her son's birthday party and the boy got talking to me. We were talking for the first time though I knew his background and about his refusal to get married to anyone else.
As we got talking he felt he should come to me for some counseling and advice.
I fixed a convenient time and asked him to air out whatever he felt. As usual he dint want to let down the girl he loved and dint understand why the girl dint have the courage to take a bold step when he was prepared to take her in as his wife.
Caste plays an important role in India and that was the primary reason for the girl's parents refusing to listen to any reasoning by the girl to get married to him.
I talked to him less and listened more to what he had to say.
When it was my turn to talk i reasoned out to him.
I pointed out that he was perhaps wasting his time waiting for this girl to come when she dint have the guts to take a few steps towards his house. Incidentally they both are neighbors and loved each other for more than 3 years!
I told him he was not getting any younger and that he needed a companion in life and it was time to get settled with the few proposals that still came his way.
His ideal time according to his chart cast by me was before July, 2009 and I told him so. I also pointed out that her parents were against her marrying him when they talked to me last about the matter, though I could never meet the girl who was always at home and there was always someone around. So no question of ever talking to her. I knew that this boy was wasting his time waiting for her.
I convinced him that he has to get married and the time was quite short and if not it could very well take even longer to find a suitable bride for him.
This was April, 2009.
In June 1st week the sister came smiling to invite me for her brother's marriage and gave me a generous compliment of turning around her brother to listen to reason when the same turned on deaf ears for so long however much his family tried to talk to him about it.
The wedding was fixed for July 6th, 2009 and the girl was his colleague from the same office he worked in.
This girl was also from a different caste from his.
Anyways the marriage took place and the girl was also in her mid thirties.
God is great. I see the couple happily going about leading a happy life from time to time. I am happy for them.
Yet I feel sad whenever I see or meet this girl who is still not married.
Her parents are now quite free of the tension from this boy who is now married. Whether they are going to take any concrete steps to get her married is to be seen and not discussed or talked about.
I watch silently with prayers in my heart for this girl whose parents wont budge to give her that happiness of selecting her own mate!
Only God can save such girls.
Take care.
Mahalakshmi
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