Dear Friends,
Today there were some guests who wanted to come over for just half hour to see us. Thank god they informed us 3 hours ahead though in the morning when I should have been cooking for the day!
Instead I just went into folding clothes, re-arranging furniture and generally putting things in order as the maid would come only towards noon. By the time I came out of the bath, they had already come visiting.
One thing about frequent guests or visitors is that we try to put things in order so much more often! Otherwise we just let things be as other work keeps us busy.
But in these days when we have very little time for much else than our routines we could do with help in such labor intensive cleaning work. Maybe if the concept of students offering to help in exchange for some money on an hourly basis were to catch up in India then things would be so good. But Indian parents never like their kids to do such types of work for others. Many don't encourage their kids to do menial jobs like sweeping, mopping, dusting around their own homes so working elsewhere even if it is for money is next to impossible. But these very same kids take up jobs like these while they pursue their studies abroad to earn extras for their upkeep. Working at such jobs inside India is a big no, no for most parents as they feel a loss of their prestige or dignity.
I will sign off now.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
To Marry or not to...2!
Dear Friends,
Here are some of the gems while I got talking to the girl's father and mother in an effort to get the pair to get married but alas to no avail.
The gems which flowed out from the father's mouth are for you to read:
"We are neighbors and were very good family friends. We used to help the boy's family by teaching them tuition. They also used to help us as neighbors. My younger brother taught his sisters but did he fall in love with any of them like this boy is now doing? How can this boy dare love my daughter? Our castes are different and we will never accept him as our son-in-law?"
I gently had to point out that in love two were involved. His daughter knowing about caste and creed fell in love with her neighbor. She was also equally responsible for taking this forward. But the hard heart of the parent would not melt at all!
The boy would always be found near his kitchen window from where he could look at the kitchen window of his lady love. He would make a peculiar noise and get the girl to come to the kitchen. We live in a close by flat and can see both flats from an angle.
I would often wonder 2 years back why all of a sudden this girl was all the time washing vessels in the kitchen post lunch and dinner past midnight at times, making all the jangling noises. :)
This boy had no other outside interest and would be tinkering with something or drinking water now and then perhaps finding some excuse to be near the kitchen window, the scene of all action. (Now he never comes this side at all and his new bride is seen cooking lovingly for him each morning and evening).
Once it so happened that the parents stumbled upon this shocking news even while the window peeping was going on. On one occasion her mother came to the window and there the boy was, smiling away at his mother-in-law to-be. But the response must have been unexpected for the boy as a pin roller was waved menacingly at him to shoo him away from there!!
The stand-off went on for two years with the girl's parents curbing her movement outside her home.
Before I could meet and counsel the boy last year I had a session with the girl's side and asked them point blank what they intended to do about it all.
Pat came the reply that they will not approve of this marriage. The mother chipped in to say they will rather be all dead than permit this alliance!
The father said he would rather sell his flat here and go somewhere very far away. He begged me to advice the boy to marry another girl and forget about his daughter. When I inquired whether their daughter went along with what they thought, they said she was not even prepared to step out of house leave alone accept this boy and bring shame to their family.
I would have loved so much to have a word with her myself, but it was not to be as they used to whisk her away to some relative's house often and there was no knowing whether she was at home or not. I dint want to over-step myself by asking for her or going to their house in search of her.
It was then that the boy met and got my advice to move on with his life. It was a happy ending for him but a sad ending for this girl who is still not married for reasons unknown.
In no time he found himself a girl from his office belonging to another caste.
The boy is a Muslim and the girl, a Hindu. All this will haunt me until I see the girl also settling down in matrimony as her brother and sister are married and have babies and it is but natural for a young girl to feel when she sees all others leading happy lives with their spouses.
God bless us all.
Mahalakshmi
Here are some of the gems while I got talking to the girl's father and mother in an effort to get the pair to get married but alas to no avail.
The gems which flowed out from the father's mouth are for you to read:
"We are neighbors and were very good family friends. We used to help the boy's family by teaching them tuition. They also used to help us as neighbors. My younger brother taught his sisters but did he fall in love with any of them like this boy is now doing? How can this boy dare love my daughter? Our castes are different and we will never accept him as our son-in-law?"
I gently had to point out that in love two were involved. His daughter knowing about caste and creed fell in love with her neighbor. She was also equally responsible for taking this forward. But the hard heart of the parent would not melt at all!
The boy would always be found near his kitchen window from where he could look at the kitchen window of his lady love. He would make a peculiar noise and get the girl to come to the kitchen. We live in a close by flat and can see both flats from an angle.
I would often wonder 2 years back why all of a sudden this girl was all the time washing vessels in the kitchen post lunch and dinner past midnight at times, making all the jangling noises. :)
This boy had no other outside interest and would be tinkering with something or drinking water now and then perhaps finding some excuse to be near the kitchen window, the scene of all action. (Now he never comes this side at all and his new bride is seen cooking lovingly for him each morning and evening).
Once it so happened that the parents stumbled upon this shocking news even while the window peeping was going on. On one occasion her mother came to the window and there the boy was, smiling away at his mother-in-law to-be. But the response must have been unexpected for the boy as a pin roller was waved menacingly at him to shoo him away from there!!
The stand-off went on for two years with the girl's parents curbing her movement outside her home.
Before I could meet and counsel the boy last year I had a session with the girl's side and asked them point blank what they intended to do about it all.
Pat came the reply that they will not approve of this marriage. The mother chipped in to say they will rather be all dead than permit this alliance!
The father said he would rather sell his flat here and go somewhere very far away. He begged me to advice the boy to marry another girl and forget about his daughter. When I inquired whether their daughter went along with what they thought, they said she was not even prepared to step out of house leave alone accept this boy and bring shame to their family.
I would have loved so much to have a word with her myself, but it was not to be as they used to whisk her away to some relative's house often and there was no knowing whether she was at home or not. I dint want to over-step myself by asking for her or going to their house in search of her.
It was then that the boy met and got my advice to move on with his life. It was a happy ending for him but a sad ending for this girl who is still not married for reasons unknown.
In no time he found himself a girl from his office belonging to another caste.
The boy is a Muslim and the girl, a Hindu. All this will haunt me until I see the girl also settling down in matrimony as her brother and sister are married and have babies and it is but natural for a young girl to feel when she sees all others leading happy lives with their spouses.
God bless us all.
Mahalakshmi
Monday, March 1, 2010
Parents And Kids
Dear Readers,
I was passing through a road where a school is located. It seemed like rush hour traffic at school closing hour. The sides of the main road were parked with cars and two wheelers of all kinds, sizes, makes and colors. Soon the school bell rang and out rushed students from the three gates.
The parents and chauffeurs were present in large numbers to ferry their wards off home.
This made me wonder about parents being there at working hours! In many cars I found both parents waiting for their kids to come out.
This is not an exception for one school. This phenomenon is found all over the city at all schools.
This meant only thing for me. that parents are ready to put aside their work for the sake of their school-going kids.
We as a couple did the same for our very own and I should know.
Both of us decided to work from home and be there for the kids when they went and came back from school. My husband would cycle them to and fro until they could ride their own bikes at around age 9 or 10 years. They were independent yet we were always available for them at home but we were also working and busy to earn for our bread and butter.
Many parents choose to work from home or run a business where timings are flexible. But not all of us can do this kind of a thing. India being a country where family ties are still intact even though most of us live as nuclear families now. Yet the elders are just a call away for young working parents. They step in to take the responsibility of bringing kids back from school. Think of it. Our lives revolves around bringing up our kids and whatever we can give them to make their lives more meaningful and successful. It is indeed a long journey for any parent. It needs a lot of time, energy, money, patience, security, tolerance, love, kindness, discipline, and the words go on and on. Are all parents able to give most of these to their kids?
Among the above, the love and affection for our kids is the biggest investment we make for our kids. And this love and affection is unconditional. It is given without any conditions attached to it.
The parents sitting in their cars and waiting for their kids conveys one thing very strongly for me as I understand it. It is love and affection for our kids which make us do things, make us adjust ourselves to suit their timings, sell our very souls so that our kids don't go through any pain. We are always there for them whenever they need us.
I consider the day my boys were born as the best day of my life. They are gifts of God to me. May I continue to love them the same way ever after.
God bless all parents to give their very best for their kids.
God has been kind to us in giving us kids through whom we learn to love unconditionally.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
I was passing through a road where a school is located. It seemed like rush hour traffic at school closing hour. The sides of the main road were parked with cars and two wheelers of all kinds, sizes, makes and colors. Soon the school bell rang and out rushed students from the three gates.
The parents and chauffeurs were present in large numbers to ferry their wards off home.
This made me wonder about parents being there at working hours! In many cars I found both parents waiting for their kids to come out.
This is not an exception for one school. This phenomenon is found all over the city at all schools.
This meant only thing for me. that parents are ready to put aside their work for the sake of their school-going kids.
We as a couple did the same for our very own and I should know.
Both of us decided to work from home and be there for the kids when they went and came back from school. My husband would cycle them to and fro until they could ride their own bikes at around age 9 or 10 years. They were independent yet we were always available for them at home but we were also working and busy to earn for our bread and butter.
Many parents choose to work from home or run a business where timings are flexible. But not all of us can do this kind of a thing. India being a country where family ties are still intact even though most of us live as nuclear families now. Yet the elders are just a call away for young working parents. They step in to take the responsibility of bringing kids back from school. Think of it. Our lives revolves around bringing up our kids and whatever we can give them to make their lives more meaningful and successful. It is indeed a long journey for any parent. It needs a lot of time, energy, money, patience, security, tolerance, love, kindness, discipline, and the words go on and on. Are all parents able to give most of these to their kids?
Among the above, the love and affection for our kids is the biggest investment we make for our kids. And this love and affection is unconditional. It is given without any conditions attached to it.
The parents sitting in their cars and waiting for their kids conveys one thing very strongly for me as I understand it. It is love and affection for our kids which make us do things, make us adjust ourselves to suit their timings, sell our very souls so that our kids don't go through any pain. We are always there for them whenever they need us.
I consider the day my boys were born as the best day of my life. They are gifts of God to me. May I continue to love them the same way ever after.
God bless all parents to give their very best for their kids.
God has been kind to us in giving us kids through whom we learn to love unconditionally.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
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