My sister left for Canada.
My eyes were brimming with tears on 16th at the thought of her leaving us all so soon but I consoled myself saying she has a family back home who would have missed her and will be eager for her return.
We have both been very close to each other right from our childhood. Asha, my youngest sis has been my dear pal first and then only everything else. We shared so many things between us which I may never think of sharing with anyone else.
Her kind and helping nature, humility, good thoughts, inner strength, always keeping her promises at any cost, are some of her strong points.
We always think of our own homes and family responsibilities. Our priorities change when we start a family of our own despite being very close to each other.
Asha came for 3 weeks and time flew like no one's business. Yet we had been there and done that in the short period she stayed with us.
I have a habit of returning back home even if it is a late hour as I like to return back home. To my familiar surroundings, my kitchen, my computer, to the comfort of my bed and my soft pillow.
Only when I have to travel away do I compromise on all these.
Asha said she was happy to stay with us. She must also be happy to be back home with her family now. Glad she called to say she reached safely with all luggage intact.
I shall miss her but I am happy we got time to catch up on so many things in person though she and my other sisters will always remain in my thoughts each and everyday.
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Saturday, April 24, 2010
To Marry or not to...2!
Dear Friends,
Here are some of the gems while I got talking to the girl's father and mother in an effort to get the pair to get married but alas to no avail.
The gems which flowed out from the father's mouth are for you to read:
"We are neighbors and were very good family friends. We used to help the boy's family by teaching them tuition. They also used to help us as neighbors. My younger brother taught his sisters but did he fall in love with any of them like this boy is now doing? How can this boy dare love my daughter? Our castes are different and we will never accept him as our son-in-law?"
I gently had to point out that in love two were involved. His daughter knowing about caste and creed fell in love with her neighbor. She was also equally responsible for taking this forward. But the hard heart of the parent would not melt at all!
The boy would always be found near his kitchen window from where he could look at the kitchen window of his lady love. He would make a peculiar noise and get the girl to come to the kitchen. We live in a close by flat and can see both flats from an angle.
I would often wonder 2 years back why all of a sudden this girl was all the time washing vessels in the kitchen post lunch and dinner past midnight at times, making all the jangling noises. :)
This boy had no other outside interest and would be tinkering with something or drinking water now and then perhaps finding some excuse to be near the kitchen window, the scene of all action. (Now he never comes this side at all and his new bride is seen cooking lovingly for him each morning and evening).
Once it so happened that the parents stumbled upon this shocking news even while the window peeping was going on. On one occasion her mother came to the window and there the boy was, smiling away at his mother-in-law to-be. But the response must have been unexpected for the boy as a pin roller was waved menacingly at him to shoo him away from there!!
The stand-off went on for two years with the girl's parents curbing her movement outside her home.
Before I could meet and counsel the boy last year I had a session with the girl's side and asked them point blank what they intended to do about it all.
Pat came the reply that they will not approve of this marriage. The mother chipped in to say they will rather be all dead than permit this alliance!
The father said he would rather sell his flat here and go somewhere very far away. He begged me to advice the boy to marry another girl and forget about his daughter. When I inquired whether their daughter went along with what they thought, they said she was not even prepared to step out of house leave alone accept this boy and bring shame to their family.
I would have loved so much to have a word with her myself, but it was not to be as they used to whisk her away to some relative's house often and there was no knowing whether she was at home or not. I dint want to over-step myself by asking for her or going to their house in search of her.
It was then that the boy met and got my advice to move on with his life. It was a happy ending for him but a sad ending for this girl who is still not married for reasons unknown.
In no time he found himself a girl from his office belonging to another caste.
The boy is a Muslim and the girl, a Hindu. All this will haunt me until I see the girl also settling down in matrimony as her brother and sister are married and have babies and it is but natural for a young girl to feel when she sees all others leading happy lives with their spouses.
God bless us all.
Mahalakshmi
Here are some of the gems while I got talking to the girl's father and mother in an effort to get the pair to get married but alas to no avail.
The gems which flowed out from the father's mouth are for you to read:
"We are neighbors and were very good family friends. We used to help the boy's family by teaching them tuition. They also used to help us as neighbors. My younger brother taught his sisters but did he fall in love with any of them like this boy is now doing? How can this boy dare love my daughter? Our castes are different and we will never accept him as our son-in-law?"
I gently had to point out that in love two were involved. His daughter knowing about caste and creed fell in love with her neighbor. She was also equally responsible for taking this forward. But the hard heart of the parent would not melt at all!
The boy would always be found near his kitchen window from where he could look at the kitchen window of his lady love. He would make a peculiar noise and get the girl to come to the kitchen. We live in a close by flat and can see both flats from an angle.
I would often wonder 2 years back why all of a sudden this girl was all the time washing vessels in the kitchen post lunch and dinner past midnight at times, making all the jangling noises. :)
This boy had no other outside interest and would be tinkering with something or drinking water now and then perhaps finding some excuse to be near the kitchen window, the scene of all action. (Now he never comes this side at all and his new bride is seen cooking lovingly for him each morning and evening).
Once it so happened that the parents stumbled upon this shocking news even while the window peeping was going on. On one occasion her mother came to the window and there the boy was, smiling away at his mother-in-law to-be. But the response must have been unexpected for the boy as a pin roller was waved menacingly at him to shoo him away from there!!
The stand-off went on for two years with the girl's parents curbing her movement outside her home.
Before I could meet and counsel the boy last year I had a session with the girl's side and asked them point blank what they intended to do about it all.
Pat came the reply that they will not approve of this marriage. The mother chipped in to say they will rather be all dead than permit this alliance!
The father said he would rather sell his flat here and go somewhere very far away. He begged me to advice the boy to marry another girl and forget about his daughter. When I inquired whether their daughter went along with what they thought, they said she was not even prepared to step out of house leave alone accept this boy and bring shame to their family.
I would have loved so much to have a word with her myself, but it was not to be as they used to whisk her away to some relative's house often and there was no knowing whether she was at home or not. I dint want to over-step myself by asking for her or going to their house in search of her.
It was then that the boy met and got my advice to move on with his life. It was a happy ending for him but a sad ending for this girl who is still not married for reasons unknown.
In no time he found himself a girl from his office belonging to another caste.
The boy is a Muslim and the girl, a Hindu. All this will haunt me until I see the girl also settling down in matrimony as her brother and sister are married and have babies and it is but natural for a young girl to feel when she sees all others leading happy lives with their spouses.
God bless us all.
Mahalakshmi
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Dream Home - 2
Dear Friends
How does one select the ideal location for a home or is there a method to this madness at all :)
Four of a family go out in different directions for work or study. Usually the location is decided with the kids in mind. So it invariably is within a comfortable radius to the school with the elder commuting further for work, if need be.
Or is it the proximity to a bus stop, shops, hospitals, workplace and/or schools, if there are school going kids in the family.
The parents are wise if they chose a good neighborhood where the crime rate is less or not at all, where good schools, hospitals are near by. Our investments are based mostly on such parameters when we want to buy a house.
Infrastructure like good roads, proximity to airport and railway stations are welcome too. It pays to be well-connected and have maximum facilities before deciding on a major issue such as selecting a home.
Once these are in place, the plan for the home sweet home starts with how many rooms and how much can we really afford to invest.
Should we be going in for a loan from the bank? In most cases we have to. Then what is the repaying capacity or are we going to overstretch ourselves and grab any money that is dangled before us in the form of loans? We never sit down to calculate the real price of our home if we were to borrow money at interest. It could well be double the cost of the property in say 10 years from hence. When we sell, we look at what we paid at the time of purchase and forget to add the interest we have paid all these years to this base price. So when we are able to find a buyer for a price which is 2 times our purchase price, we seem so happy to have made a handsome profit but have we really :(
All said and done its so nice to live in our own place, get used to our neighborhood, make good friends and sort of settle down, bank loan, repayments notwithstanding!
Enjoy life and living.
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi
How does one select the ideal location for a home or is there a method to this madness at all :)
Four of a family go out in different directions for work or study. Usually the location is decided with the kids in mind. So it invariably is within a comfortable radius to the school with the elder commuting further for work, if need be.
Or is it the proximity to a bus stop, shops, hospitals, workplace and/or schools, if there are school going kids in the family.
The parents are wise if they chose a good neighborhood where the crime rate is less or not at all, where good schools, hospitals are near by. Our investments are based mostly on such parameters when we want to buy a house.
Infrastructure like good roads, proximity to airport and railway stations are welcome too. It pays to be well-connected and have maximum facilities before deciding on a major issue such as selecting a home.
Once these are in place, the plan for the home sweet home starts with how many rooms and how much can we really afford to invest.
Should we be going in for a loan from the bank? In most cases we have to. Then what is the repaying capacity or are we going to overstretch ourselves and grab any money that is dangled before us in the form of loans? We never sit down to calculate the real price of our home if we were to borrow money at interest. It could well be double the cost of the property in say 10 years from hence. When we sell, we look at what we paid at the time of purchase and forget to add the interest we have paid all these years to this base price. So when we are able to find a buyer for a price which is 2 times our purchase price, we seem so happy to have made a handsome profit but have we really :(
All said and done its so nice to live in our own place, get used to our neighborhood, make good friends and sort of settle down, bank loan, repayments notwithstanding!
Enjoy life and living.
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi
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