Good Karma

A month back, my husband and I were invited to the wedding of the only daughter of Mr.T.Nataraajan, at the Mayor Ramanathan Hall, Santhome Road, Chennai.
The invitees must have easily exceeded 2000.
The marriage hall is huge and roomy, therefore, accommodating guests in thousands should not have been a problem. Right from managing the car parking, ushering in guests at the entrance, to directing them to the lift, hall, etc., were very well co-ordinated by a core group.

The marriage was well-attended, very well organized and the host circulated and attended to all the guests personally. The chaos which is typical of huge weddings was absent, meaning every little detail must have been taken care of with meticulous planning much ahead of the event.

Yet this blog is not about any of the above!

It was about the wedding invitation itself.
The host personally came to invite each one of us. The words he spoke, while handing us the card, were very sincere and touching enough to indicate that our presence meant a lot to him.
The wedding invitation card strictly requested us not to bring along any gifts of money, bouquets, etc. instead we were invited to grace the occassion and bless the couple for a long and happy married life.
The purity of thought made me re-read this humble, multi-dimensional request until its import could be absorbed fully.

Marriage is basically wishing the couple, gifting, mingling with guests who don't often meet in person except for occasions like these, catching up with the latest in each other's lives and enjoying the wedding feast.

To get an opportunity to celebrate, invite everyone known, attending personally to guests, and serving food to thousands without any expectations is in itself an act of good karma.
Here's an example of doing all of that in a single stroke.
This adds up in one's personal balance sheet, on the credits side, under the heading 'Good Karmas'.

Mahalakshmi.

To Marry or not to?

Dear Friends,

I am withholding names of concerned people in the event I am going to narrate today.

Sister of a man aged about 38 came for help last year around this time. she wanted her brother to forget the girl he loved who refused to come out of her house to marry him against her parents' wishes, perhaps.
It was two years since there was heavy silence from both sides.
Boy seemed to lose interest in his life and was quite frustrated.
After work he would come home and even if he were to request for some tea, his sisters at home would tell him to go find a wife who would make it for him as they wont be around for long making him tea all their lives!
Which was true yet he wont budge nor look at any proposals his family would get for him.

Then one day his sister invited me over to her son's birthday party and the boy got talking to me. We were talking for the first time though I knew his background and about his refusal to get married to anyone else.

As we got talking he felt he should come to me for some counseling and advice.
I fixed a convenient time and asked him to air out whatever he felt. As usual he dint want to let down the girl he loved and dint understand why the girl dint have the courage to take a bold step when he was prepared to take her in as his wife.
Caste plays an important role in India and that was the primary reason for the girl's parents refusing to listen to any reasoning by the girl to get married to him.

I talked to him less and listened more to what he had to say.
When it was my turn to talk i reasoned out to him.
I pointed out that he was perhaps wasting his time waiting for this girl to come when she dint have the guts to take a few steps towards his house. Incidentally they both are neighbors and loved each other for more than 3 years!
I told him he was not getting any younger and that he needed a companion in life and it was time to get settled with the few proposals that still came his way.
His ideal time according to his chart cast by me was before July, 2009 and I told him so. I also pointed out that her parents were against her marrying him when they talked to me last about the matter, though I could never meet the girl who was always at home and there was always someone around. So no question of ever talking to her. I knew that this boy was wasting his time waiting for her.

I convinced him that he has to get married and the time was quite short and if not it could very well take even longer to find a suitable bride for him.

This was April, 2009.
In June 1st week the sister came smiling to invite me for her brother's marriage and gave me a generous compliment of turning around her brother to listen to reason when the same turned on deaf ears for so long however much his family tried to talk to him about it.
The wedding was fixed for July 6th, 2009 and the girl was his colleague from the same office he worked in.
This girl was also from a different caste from his.
Anyways the marriage took place and the girl was also in her mid thirties.

God is great. I see the couple happily going about leading a happy life from time to time. I am happy for them.
Yet I feel sad whenever I see or meet this girl who is still not married.
Her parents are now quite free of the tension from this boy who is now married. Whether they are going to take any concrete steps to get her married is to be seen and not discussed or talked about.
I watch silently with prayers in my heart for this girl whose parents wont budge to give her that happiness of selecting her own mate!

Only God can save such girls.

Take care.
Mahalakshmi