Mom is enjoying time with my sister.
She is recounting memories of my sister when she was just a little girl about 52 years back.
She was very young and was left behind at my maternal granny's house where she was the pet of the house full of relatives. My mother being a teacher din't have anyone to take care of my sister. So she was left in the care of her brother's wife, her sister and granny.
My mom's was a family of teachers. Her eldest sister was a teacher at Keyes Girls' High School, Secunderabad. The ritual everyday would be for her to say bye-bye to my baby sister just before leaving for work. One day she was in a hurry and she forgot to say bye-bye. My sister started crying inconsolably through the day. When evening came, my aunt came home and was quite surprised that her tata bye-bye would mean so much to my younger sister.
Of course from that day onwards my aunt was very careful to bid bye-bye to my sister if she were around.
My sister is having a gala time listening to her childhood stories narrated by my mom everyday. What bliss to revisit those days.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Spending Time Together
When I saw my sister push her luggage cart towards us at the airport, tears welled up in my eyes. Its been 5 years since we saw her last.
Keeping in touch over phone and e-mails apart, there's nothing like being together and spending time together. Doing special things for her is giving me so much joy.
She loves good food. Loves to eat outside. Vadai, bonda, parattha, phulkas and pulao are among her favourites.
How much fun she had last time, eating bondas and cutlets at the woodlands drive-in on her last visit. We shopped at Spencer's but ate at Woodlands on our way back home. She is so sad that it does not exist anymore. We will still visit to see the landscape and the trees in the new garden in its place.
I had planned to take her to maximum possible hotels within the 3 weeks she will stay with us. Chennai is bursting with so many places to try out good food.
The must-eat places which I must take her at least once are
Hotel Saravana Bhavan which I took her to yesterday itself. Each had a single bonda, vada and idli. She loved the sambar and the chutneys. I have always liked their strong filter coffee (with sugar :D).
She was amazed at the change with so many new buildings which have come up on most roads. She was clueless about roads and streets. It is for this reason I have decided never to let her go alone by herself in Chennai. I or someone will always be there to take her around. I remember the most pleasurable days I spent at her place in Ottawa in 1991. She took such good care of me. Even now I think I love Canada as a place to visit. Perhaps that was my first trip abroad and one loves the first place one sees.
Someone told me he loved London though he had visited USA and australia too. That is because London was the first place he visited.
Back to the places we will be visiting every evening, if possible, to try speaciality tiffins.
Grand Snacks for their hot and fresh boli and appams, etc.
Adayar Ananda Bhavan for ditto ditto.
Sri Krishna for their great tiffin combos which offer many varieties in one shot.
Sri Krishna's 'Rasam' restaurant for dinner one day.
Sanjeevani for a lovely, fresh and sattwic fare on offer is a must.
For that superb Hyderabadi Dum Biryani at Swati, Saravana Bhavan, Mylapore.
To the Pizza Hut for their crunchy, tasty pizza, breads and garden salad.
Nathan's one day for lunch perhaps.
Mathsya not to be missed time permitting.
The finale will be a lunch or dinner at the Copper Point at GRT Grand, a good place to eat at. The food is great there.
She has a big shopping list - to buy gold at GRT, clothes at Westend, kitchen ware at Rathna's, etc. I will have to juggle with hotels to fit in with her shopping list and areas she will have to visit. It requires a master plan indeed to do all of that.
There will some people who might invite her out to dinner or lunch.
Happy thinking of the happy times together.
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi.
Keeping in touch over phone and e-mails apart, there's nothing like being together and spending time together. Doing special things for her is giving me so much joy.
She loves good food. Loves to eat outside. Vadai, bonda, parattha, phulkas and pulao are among her favourites.
How much fun she had last time, eating bondas and cutlets at the woodlands drive-in on her last visit. We shopped at Spencer's but ate at Woodlands on our way back home. She is so sad that it does not exist anymore. We will still visit to see the landscape and the trees in the new garden in its place.
I had planned to take her to maximum possible hotels within the 3 weeks she will stay with us. Chennai is bursting with so many places to try out good food.
The must-eat places which I must take her at least once are
Hotel Saravana Bhavan which I took her to yesterday itself. Each had a single bonda, vada and idli. She loved the sambar and the chutneys. I have always liked their strong filter coffee (with sugar :D).
She was amazed at the change with so many new buildings which have come up on most roads. She was clueless about roads and streets. It is for this reason I have decided never to let her go alone by herself in Chennai. I or someone will always be there to take her around. I remember the most pleasurable days I spent at her place in Ottawa in 1991. She took such good care of me. Even now I think I love Canada as a place to visit. Perhaps that was my first trip abroad and one loves the first place one sees.
Someone told me he loved London though he had visited USA and australia too. That is because London was the first place he visited.
Back to the places we will be visiting every evening, if possible, to try speaciality tiffins.
Grand Snacks for their hot and fresh boli and appams, etc.
Adayar Ananda Bhavan for ditto ditto.
Sri Krishna for their great tiffin combos which offer many varieties in one shot.
Sri Krishna's 'Rasam' restaurant for dinner one day.
Sanjeevani for a lovely, fresh and sattwic fare on offer is a must.
For that superb Hyderabadi Dum Biryani at Swati, Saravana Bhavan, Mylapore.
To the Pizza Hut for their crunchy, tasty pizza, breads and garden salad.
Nathan's one day for lunch perhaps.
Mathsya not to be missed time permitting.
The finale will be a lunch or dinner at the Copper Point at GRT Grand, a good place to eat at. The food is great there.
She has a big shopping list - to buy gold at GRT, clothes at Westend, kitchen ware at Rathna's, etc. I will have to juggle with hotels to fit in with her shopping list and areas she will have to visit. It requires a master plan indeed to do all of that.
There will some people who might invite her out to dinner or lunch.
Happy thinking of the happy times together.
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi.
House Cleaning
Sorry for the break.
Sister from Canada was due to arrive on 27th and sons due to arrive on 31st kept me busy with getting help for cleaning home.
Two known housekeeping boys always help me out when I need their help. The best thing about them is that they don't need to be told what to do or how to clean or which chemical or solution to use to clean surfaces.
At 10am they started dusting, cleaning, sweeping, mopping the entire house. No messing with spilling or messing with lots of water either. Just half a bucket of soap solution and half bucket of plain water to rinse the duster cloth for each room. The rooms got cleaned like magic. The baths are sparkling like new.
I was so happy seeing the house getting neater and better. We had to shift furniture from one room to another to make more space.
They finished their work by 6pm sharp. Smiled when I pressed money into their hands. I pay them more than the market rate as its rare indeed to find men who know their jobs well.
I wondered at their stamina of continuously working like that for 8 hrs except for a half an hour break for lunch. Washing vessels one time a day makes me so tired. I defer the sweeping and mopping of rooms to the evening and at times skip it whenever my maid takes off. It requires hard labor and stamina to perform such physical jobs.
I salute their hard work. My house is clean once a while thanks to them. Wish they could come once every month to maintain the house neat and tidy.
Mahalakshmi.
Sister from Canada was due to arrive on 27th and sons due to arrive on 31st kept me busy with getting help for cleaning home.
Two known housekeeping boys always help me out when I need their help. The best thing about them is that they don't need to be told what to do or how to clean or which chemical or solution to use to clean surfaces.
At 10am they started dusting, cleaning, sweeping, mopping the entire house. No messing with spilling or messing with lots of water either. Just half a bucket of soap solution and half bucket of plain water to rinse the duster cloth for each room. The rooms got cleaned like magic. The baths are sparkling like new.
I was so happy seeing the house getting neater and better. We had to shift furniture from one room to another to make more space.
They finished their work by 6pm sharp. Smiled when I pressed money into their hands. I pay them more than the market rate as its rare indeed to find men who know their jobs well.
I wondered at their stamina of continuously working like that for 8 hrs except for a half an hour break for lunch. Washing vessels one time a day makes me so tired. I defer the sweeping and mopping of rooms to the evening and at times skip it whenever my maid takes off. It requires hard labor and stamina to perform such physical jobs.
I salute their hard work. My house is clean once a while thanks to them. Wish they could come once every month to maintain the house neat and tidy.
Mahalakshmi.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Merry X'Mas
Today I bought 2 half Kg plum cakes from the GRT Grand hotel, T.Nagar.
It is a practice to buy plum cakes for X'Mas. We consume small portions and make it last for about a week until New Year.
I have always been fond of plum cakes as it brings back fond memories of my childhood days spent in Hyderabad.
My mother used to buy those wonderful tasting plum cakes from John's Bakery in Gunfoundry near Grammar's School. They were so delightful to taste with so many dry fruits, cherries and spices in them. One big slice was enough to send us kids reeling for sometime, thanks to the generous quantities of alchohol like rum, gin, etc. which goes into making of those rich plum cakes.
My sons share my love for it and were sorely missed for the past two X'mas celebrations as they were away at Edinburgh. This year I was feeling sad while picking up those cakes. But I hear they are heading back home so the plums will have to wait until they arrive. It will be a joyous moment to see them relish plum cakes at home after nearly 3 years now.
Merry X'Mas.
Mahalakshmi
It is a practice to buy plum cakes for X'Mas. We consume small portions and make it last for about a week until New Year.
I have always been fond of plum cakes as it brings back fond memories of my childhood days spent in Hyderabad.
My mother used to buy those wonderful tasting plum cakes from John's Bakery in Gunfoundry near Grammar's School. They were so delightful to taste with so many dry fruits, cherries and spices in them. One big slice was enough to send us kids reeling for sometime, thanks to the generous quantities of alchohol like rum, gin, etc. which goes into making of those rich plum cakes.
My sons share my love for it and were sorely missed for the past two X'mas celebrations as they were away at Edinburgh. This year I was feeling sad while picking up those cakes. But I hear they are heading back home so the plums will have to wait until they arrive. It will be a joyous moment to see them relish plum cakes at home after nearly 3 years now.
Merry X'Mas.
Mahalakshmi
The Scent of New Books
While studying in the school, we sisters used to look forward to our maternal uncle buying us new books from Sri Rama Book Depot in Hyderabad.
They always arrived in bundles of note books of all kinds - the square book for maths, the double ruled for handwriting, the single ruled for notes, the one side blank page for science notes where diagrams were drawn on the blank adjacent sheet, then graph books. Text books in English, Hindi, Telugu whatever were prescribed for the various classes in which we sisters were studying.
Note books would be distributed out of the bundle to each according to the numbers recommended by the school for each class. Smaller brown sheets would be cut from larger sheets and labels given. We will set ourselves with the task of covering and labelling all our books. The text books too would get new covers. This was a process and team work. We had such fun doing all this together.
The best handwriting would adorn the labels. It would have the name, class, section and subject written.
I would open each and every book and read what I could. My favourite would always be the English Text Book and the Moral Science Book. I would finish reading all the stories in them in no time and go on to read my elder sisters' text books as well, out of curiosity and interest.
The peculiar scent from turning of those new pages would be so nice, that I would keep turning them until they lost their newness. They were like the first drops of rain hitting earth to produce a wonderful moist smell.
What beautiful days were those.
Mahalakshmi
They always arrived in bundles of note books of all kinds - the square book for maths, the double ruled for handwriting, the single ruled for notes, the one side blank page for science notes where diagrams were drawn on the blank adjacent sheet, then graph books. Text books in English, Hindi, Telugu whatever were prescribed for the various classes in which we sisters were studying.
Note books would be distributed out of the bundle to each according to the numbers recommended by the school for each class. Smaller brown sheets would be cut from larger sheets and labels given. We will set ourselves with the task of covering and labelling all our books. The text books too would get new covers. This was a process and team work. We had such fun doing all this together.
The best handwriting would adorn the labels. It would have the name, class, section and subject written.
I would open each and every book and read what I could. My favourite would always be the English Text Book and the Moral Science Book. I would finish reading all the stories in them in no time and go on to read my elder sisters' text books as well, out of curiosity and interest.
The peculiar scent from turning of those new pages would be so nice, that I would keep turning them until they lost their newness. They were like the first drops of rain hitting earth to produce a wonderful moist smell.
What beautiful days were those.
Mahalakshmi
Thursday, December 23, 2010
The Congress Party And Onions - Made For Each Other
The Congress party in India has a strong connection with onions!
They are 'Made For Each Other'.
The onion which goes into most gravies, curries, subzis, is an all-time favorite of the Indian masses with the exception of a section of staunch jains, practising ISKON devotees and some brahmins.
The onion succeeds in opening up the tear ducts of the masses but it has always made the congress party of India, shed tears of joy!
Onions have never failed to come to the rescue of the Congress whenever it was in trouble.
Who can forget the supporting role that onions played in the 1980 elections which brought Indira Gandhi to power.
History repeated itself in 1998 and 2003 elections when onions played a major role in reversing many a fortunes.
During the recent couple of months, when too many scams were causing great embarrassment to the power at the centre, the onion has come as a great relief and diversion. The masses are more concerned with the sudden soaring of onion prices than the lakhs of crores reportedly siphoned to offshore destinations through the hawala, all thanks to 2G.
Thanks to an active exchange of views on the net people cannot be fooled forever.
Smart people will buy less onions.
They will substitute onions with some other vegetable.
They will invest in the sattvic recipes' book published by the ISKON Centre which has no use for onions in any of those divine recipes.
Boycott purchasing onions.
The curtains are drawn for next year's elections.
Mahalakshmi.
They are 'Made For Each Other'.
The onion which goes into most gravies, curries, subzis, is an all-time favorite of the Indian masses with the exception of a section of staunch jains, practising ISKON devotees and some brahmins.
The onion succeeds in opening up the tear ducts of the masses but it has always made the congress party of India, shed tears of joy!
Onions have never failed to come to the rescue of the Congress whenever it was in trouble.
Who can forget the supporting role that onions played in the 1980 elections which brought Indira Gandhi to power.
History repeated itself in 1998 and 2003 elections when onions played a major role in reversing many a fortunes.
During the recent couple of months, when too many scams were causing great embarrassment to the power at the centre, the onion has come as a great relief and diversion. The masses are more concerned with the sudden soaring of onion prices than the lakhs of crores reportedly siphoned to offshore destinations through the hawala, all thanks to 2G.
Thanks to an active exchange of views on the net people cannot be fooled forever.
Smart people will buy less onions.
They will substitute onions with some other vegetable.
They will invest in the sattvic recipes' book published by the ISKON Centre which has no use for onions in any of those divine recipes.
Boycott purchasing onions.
The curtains are drawn for next year's elections.
Mahalakshmi.
Here's The Invitaton But Don't Come!
There are instances where people come over to invite my mother personally saying she's the eldest living member in our family. That they need her blessings for this function or that event. Yet in her presence they cite an example of a person who is younger than her by 5 or 6 years to be too sick to attend the occasion and how one should be cautious about one's health and never travel at all! In short they make sure to get across the message that she should not take the personal invitation too seriously and actually attend the function! After hearing such sermons no sane person will take their invitations too seriously. At least I won't.
Why come all the way to invite personally only to say such things? Why waste an invitation card at all? And what about our time and theirs too?
I have a tough time convincing my mother that such invitations are just for namesake and not meant to be really taken seriously by her. She lives in the past and places a lot of affection on her relatives and their families.
Three weddings in three families of her late sister. Two grooms are the great grandsons and one bride is a great grand daughter.
My mom was sentimental about attending the wedding. She and my dad had married off 4of her elder sister's grandsons and granddaughters twenty five years back (the rituals part only) .... now it was their children's weddings she wanted to attend.
I booked two tickets for both of us yet I was so reluctant to go there as the vibes were not positive at all.
It was as if the families were worried that my mom would actually come down to attend those weddings. There were many reasons like she is too old to travel from Chennai to Hyderabad or to Bangalore. She must not fall down and break her hip bones or fracture her limbs during travel. In whose house will she stay...
I booked rooms at the Taj Mahal hotel on SP Road, Secunderabad as that was nearer to the marriage venue and staying was not an issue at all with hotels all over cities now.
I had no heart in attending. Mom was so enthusiastic about her travel, she had packed all her things a week before the journey! I could not break her heart either. So I prayed to God to rescue me from this agony of travelling for her sake only.
Chennai had a stint of heavy rains just for the 2 days before our journey. We were to travel on the 17th Nov, rest in the hotel room on the 18th and attend the wedding on the 19th and board the train, the same day.
It rained so badly on the 14th, 15th and 16th that I asked my mom whether she still wanted to go. She said cancel the tickets and I gladly obliged. I knew God was on my side and din't want me to go to a wedding in which people were not sincere about wanting our presence.
Similar was the case of the wedding at Bangalore, in January this year. The invitation was delivered personally but the body language, the instances quoted while inviting us, about how the elderly should not travel, etc., indicated that it was a formal and social obligation which was being enacted without meaning a word of it.
If you think these 2 invitations were instances of taking the 'cake' then I want to share taking the 'bakery' episode from the same family!
The father of the groom rang up the relatives to inform that his son was getting married on such and such date at Chennai. He wanted to 'inform' about the marriage and asked relatives not to attend the wedding! When the relatives questioned why at all he wanted to even inform when he din't mean to invite them, he said, he din't want the relatives to 'hear' of the marriage through some other outside source! I appreciated the bakery approach much better.
1. The Bangalore party's inviation clearly said 'no' to any gifts for their son. So we din't give anything.
2. There was no question of any gift for the party who just wanted us to be 'informed'.
3. We sent across a gift of cash for the Hyderabad party and in turn they sent across a saree for my mom and some wedding sweets. After we rang to thank them, they shared some wedding photos through the mail! The other two din't share even the wedding photos!!
I check for positive signals whenever we are invited for any occasion by others. I have been to a wedding where the family had just mentioned their sincere desire for us to be present at their son's wedding in Chennai, promisig to send us the invitation which never arrived. But we attended the wedding anyway!
So its not the case of just receiving the invitation card.
It is whether the invitation comes from their heart.
Mahalakshmi.
Mahalakshmi.
Why come all the way to invite personally only to say such things? Why waste an invitation card at all? And what about our time and theirs too?
I have a tough time convincing my mother that such invitations are just for namesake and not meant to be really taken seriously by her. She lives in the past and places a lot of affection on her relatives and their families.
Three weddings in three families of her late sister. Two grooms are the great grandsons and one bride is a great grand daughter.
My mom was sentimental about attending the wedding. She and my dad had married off 4of her elder sister's grandsons and granddaughters twenty five years back (the rituals part only) .... now it was their children's weddings she wanted to attend.
I booked two tickets for both of us yet I was so reluctant to go there as the vibes were not positive at all.
It was as if the families were worried that my mom would actually come down to attend those weddings. There were many reasons like she is too old to travel from Chennai to Hyderabad or to Bangalore. She must not fall down and break her hip bones or fracture her limbs during travel. In whose house will she stay...
I booked rooms at the Taj Mahal hotel on SP Road, Secunderabad as that was nearer to the marriage venue and staying was not an issue at all with hotels all over cities now.
I had no heart in attending. Mom was so enthusiastic about her travel, she had packed all her things a week before the journey! I could not break her heart either. So I prayed to God to rescue me from this agony of travelling for her sake only.
Chennai had a stint of heavy rains just for the 2 days before our journey. We were to travel on the 17th Nov, rest in the hotel room on the 18th and attend the wedding on the 19th and board the train, the same day.
It rained so badly on the 14th, 15th and 16th that I asked my mom whether she still wanted to go. She said cancel the tickets and I gladly obliged. I knew God was on my side and din't want me to go to a wedding in which people were not sincere about wanting our presence.
Similar was the case of the wedding at Bangalore, in January this year. The invitation was delivered personally but the body language, the instances quoted while inviting us, about how the elderly should not travel, etc., indicated that it was a formal and social obligation which was being enacted without meaning a word of it.
If you think these 2 invitations were instances of taking the 'cake' then I want to share taking the 'bakery' episode from the same family!
The father of the groom rang up the relatives to inform that his son was getting married on such and such date at Chennai. He wanted to 'inform' about the marriage and asked relatives not to attend the wedding! When the relatives questioned why at all he wanted to even inform when he din't mean to invite them, he said, he din't want the relatives to 'hear' of the marriage through some other outside source! I appreciated the bakery approach much better.
1. The Bangalore party's inviation clearly said 'no' to any gifts for their son. So we din't give anything.
2. There was no question of any gift for the party who just wanted us to be 'informed'.
3. We sent across a gift of cash for the Hyderabad party and in turn they sent across a saree for my mom and some wedding sweets. After we rang to thank them, they shared some wedding photos through the mail! The other two din't share even the wedding photos!!
I check for positive signals whenever we are invited for any occasion by others. I have been to a wedding where the family had just mentioned their sincere desire for us to be present at their son's wedding in Chennai, promisig to send us the invitation which never arrived. But we attended the wedding anyway!
So its not the case of just receiving the invitation card.
It is whether the invitation comes from their heart.
Mahalakshmi.
Mahalakshmi.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Charity Meals For Stray Dogs
There's a temple right next to our flat complex.
A mother and daughter duo have a (roadside) temporary shop to sell flowers by the side of our gate. They buy loose flowers from the wholesale market in Parry’s corner and weave them into garlands here. We have a good view of their activities from our windows.
Two cats, one a golden brown and another, a grey-white, join and give them company when they set shop twice daily.
It is so nice to watch the cats display their affection by waiting and welcoming the two ladies and caressing themselves against their sarees with their tails held upright. The ladies pat them and settle down to work while the cats rest beside them keeping an eye on all those who come to buy stringed flowers.
And then there is a man who comes peddling a bicycle to drop off food packets for the stray dogs. It is cooked rice mixed with some boiled milk. A philanthropist, some streets away, has the rice cooked in huge quantities, engages this elderly man to leave portions at street corners where stray dogs frequent. Her philosophy is, dogs do not hunt but depend on humans for food, so she wants to do her bit for their cause. Cats join in and so do some humans!
The old man carries a big bucket of food, ladles a portion on a piece of paper kept inside a plastic carry bag. He leaves these carry bags on the roadside for a set number of animals at each spot. We know how territorial these animals can be so the man leaves only those many packets! All street dogs know his timing and they wait for him to come at the appointed time in the mornings and evenings.
These 2 cats too wait for him. On occasions, when I am home, I have watched this activity with much interest. But what I saw other than this food distribution is also disturbing. This man would keep two portions for the two cats. He would also hurriedly pack four additional portions in a single carry bag and hand it to the ladies. They carry it home. That’s their lunch and dinner! Wonder whether the animal-lover knows whether a portion of her charity is shared by humans too!!
Mahalakshmi.
A mother and daughter duo have a (roadside) temporary shop to sell flowers by the side of our gate. They buy loose flowers from the wholesale market in Parry’s corner and weave them into garlands here. We have a good view of their activities from our windows.
Two cats, one a golden brown and another, a grey-white, join and give them company when they set shop twice daily.
It is so nice to watch the cats display their affection by waiting and welcoming the two ladies and caressing themselves against their sarees with their tails held upright. The ladies pat them and settle down to work while the cats rest beside them keeping an eye on all those who come to buy stringed flowers.
And then there is a man who comes peddling a bicycle to drop off food packets for the stray dogs. It is cooked rice mixed with some boiled milk. A philanthropist, some streets away, has the rice cooked in huge quantities, engages this elderly man to leave portions at street corners where stray dogs frequent. Her philosophy is, dogs do not hunt but depend on humans for food, so she wants to do her bit for their cause. Cats join in and so do some humans!
The old man carries a big bucket of food, ladles a portion on a piece of paper kept inside a plastic carry bag. He leaves these carry bags on the roadside for a set number of animals at each spot. We know how territorial these animals can be so the man leaves only those many packets! All street dogs know his timing and they wait for him to come at the appointed time in the mornings and evenings.
These 2 cats too wait for him. On occasions, when I am home, I have watched this activity with much interest. But what I saw other than this food distribution is also disturbing. This man would keep two portions for the two cats. He would also hurriedly pack four additional portions in a single carry bag and hand it to the ladies. They carry it home. That’s their lunch and dinner! Wonder whether the animal-lover knows whether a portion of her charity is shared by humans too!!
Mahalakshmi.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tea Time for Ants
After struggling to sign into my own blog (the sign in would not allow me to sign in!!), I write this piece today.
Trees, shrubs and plants near our ground floor apartment encourage the small creatures like tiny black ants and big black ants to invade our kitchen. They are very choosy about food and drinks! They clamour for fallen crystals of sugar. They swarm around spilled drops of tea. Not coffee, not rice, not milk.
Minutes after the spills we can see them come out from somewhere and take away the sugar. One drop of tea and we can see at least 20 ants forming a circle around the drop and enjoying tea together! Leftover tea makes them climb up the walls of the mugs or tumblers and then down to reach the leftover tea in it.
Tea time with a bit of sugar is party time for the ants in our house.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
Trees, shrubs and plants near our ground floor apartment encourage the small creatures like tiny black ants and big black ants to invade our kitchen. They are very choosy about food and drinks! They clamour for fallen crystals of sugar. They swarm around spilled drops of tea. Not coffee, not rice, not milk.
Minutes after the spills we can see them come out from somewhere and take away the sugar. One drop of tea and we can see at least 20 ants forming a circle around the drop and enjoying tea together! Leftover tea makes them climb up the walls of the mugs or tumblers and then down to reach the leftover tea in it.
Tea time with a bit of sugar is party time for the ants in our house.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
Friday, December 17, 2010
The Cockroach and Me
My early morning routine is to open the main door of the flat,
sweep the tiny space which has an embedded black granite stone in front of our door,
sprinkle some water,
mop the black granite stone and draw a kolam (more on kolam in my next blog).
A kolam is called rangoli in the north. A kolam is a symmetric pattern drawn on the floor in chalk or with a paste of rice flour.
This is an early morning ritual in most of the south Indian homes.
As I opened the door, armed with a broom to sweep, a cockroach which was hiding near the threshold ran helter skelter to save itself from an imminent attack. When it tried to come inside the house, I tried to broom it away outside. The roach and me were trying to outdo each other with a lot of song and dance about it. I succeeded in sweeping it as far away from our door as possible without killing it. In the mileu, I fell on both knees :D
I was thankful I din't break a bone in this early morning amateur dance recital.
Despite our sealing all the entry points and fixing fine nets on all windows, some do find their way in, as we live on a ground floor apartment. I tolerate them as creatures who have equal right to live and share space on earth yet I wish they chose some other place and not my house! They are unwelcome guests.
They keep coming back even as we keep taking some pest control measures from time to time. Perhaps that is why they are called 'pests'.
Mahalakshmi.
sweep the tiny space which has an embedded black granite stone in front of our door,
sprinkle some water,
mop the black granite stone and draw a kolam (more on kolam in my next blog).
A kolam is called rangoli in the north. A kolam is a symmetric pattern drawn on the floor in chalk or with a paste of rice flour.
This is an early morning ritual in most of the south Indian homes.
As I opened the door, armed with a broom to sweep, a cockroach which was hiding near the threshold ran helter skelter to save itself from an imminent attack. When it tried to come inside the house, I tried to broom it away outside. The roach and me were trying to outdo each other with a lot of song and dance about it. I succeeded in sweeping it as far away from our door as possible without killing it. In the mileu, I fell on both knees :D
I was thankful I din't break a bone in this early morning amateur dance recital.
Despite our sealing all the entry points and fixing fine nets on all windows, some do find their way in, as we live on a ground floor apartment. I tolerate them as creatures who have equal right to live and share space on earth yet I wish they chose some other place and not my house! They are unwelcome guests.
They keep coming back even as we keep taking some pest control measures from time to time. Perhaps that is why they are called 'pests'.
Mahalakshmi.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Deep Sleep For Resting The Body
Prayers, meditation, chanting, singing hymns, etc are means of calming the mind.
When mind is calm, we sleep well at night.
When we sleep well, we get refreshed both in body and mind.
When the mind is disturbed, we may not be able to fall asleep as easily.
We may have laboured away hard physically, yet if the mind is also stressed, we find difficulty in falling asleep.
Sleeping is another form of deep meditation where the entire self is resting with minimum activity in continuing to breathe and maybe dreaming a little.
Since all these are inter-related, it is so important for us to rest our mind and body every 14 to 16 hours in a day, depending on how long we usually sleep.
I have watched men labor at real hard work for 8 to 10 hours in various places. I have noticed them (without exception) visiting the roadside bars selling cheap liqour towards dusk, whether or not they have sufficient money to buy the groceries for their families back home.
Have often wondered about this phenomenon. Have come to the conclusion that their muscles and limbs may be aching due to constant labor at work.
Contrary to belief that we will sleep well after a hard day's labor, they might need an external element to refresh their body for the next day's work, meaning they can labour away the next day after their body is well-rested.
Most of the labor force work for daily wages and the need to report to work the next day becomes their necessity if they have to put food on the table. Whether they put food on the table or not they need to drink to forget their bodily aches. It is like an instant gratification.
With time the equation gets reversed!
In the beginning, they need work to survive and need their daily drinks or stuff to forget bodily pain from such hard labor.
Later they need their daily drinks so they need to work for it!!
It's a vicious cycle from which there is no escape when drinking becomes an addiction, whether or not they have work for the day! This is the way a whole family gets affected due to one person's addiction to something.
One is bound to ask what about mental stress. To escape mental stress many take to such addictive habits.
Moderation is the key to balance oneself for everything be it prayers, meditation, chanting, getting used to intoxication. Yes even prayers and meditation which does our minds and bodies so much good, should be done in moderation only, otherwise they too become obsessions.
Look at the wonderful organ called stomach. It can contain only a certain amount of food when we are hungry or ready to eat. Such should be our need for props to calm our mind, body and soul.
Mahalakshmi.
When mind is calm, we sleep well at night.
When we sleep well, we get refreshed both in body and mind.
When the mind is disturbed, we may not be able to fall asleep as easily.
We may have laboured away hard physically, yet if the mind is also stressed, we find difficulty in falling asleep.
Sleeping is another form of deep meditation where the entire self is resting with minimum activity in continuing to breathe and maybe dreaming a little.
Since all these are inter-related, it is so important for us to rest our mind and body every 14 to 16 hours in a day, depending on how long we usually sleep.
I have watched men labor at real hard work for 8 to 10 hours in various places. I have noticed them (without exception) visiting the roadside bars selling cheap liqour towards dusk, whether or not they have sufficient money to buy the groceries for their families back home.
Have often wondered about this phenomenon. Have come to the conclusion that their muscles and limbs may be aching due to constant labor at work.
Contrary to belief that we will sleep well after a hard day's labor, they might need an external element to refresh their body for the next day's work, meaning they can labour away the next day after their body is well-rested.
Most of the labor force work for daily wages and the need to report to work the next day becomes their necessity if they have to put food on the table. Whether they put food on the table or not they need to drink to forget their bodily aches. It is like an instant gratification.
With time the equation gets reversed!
In the beginning, they need work to survive and need their daily drinks or stuff to forget bodily pain from such hard labor.
Later they need their daily drinks so they need to work for it!!
It's a vicious cycle from which there is no escape when drinking becomes an addiction, whether or not they have work for the day! This is the way a whole family gets affected due to one person's addiction to something.
One is bound to ask what about mental stress. To escape mental stress many take to such addictive habits.
Moderation is the key to balance oneself for everything be it prayers, meditation, chanting, getting used to intoxication. Yes even prayers and meditation which does our minds and bodies so much good, should be done in moderation only, otherwise they too become obsessions.
Look at the wonderful organ called stomach. It can contain only a certain amount of food when we are hungry or ready to eat. Such should be our need for props to calm our mind, body and soul.
Mahalakshmi.
Monday, December 13, 2010
The Power Of Prayers
It cannot be denied that a chant, a prayer, a hymn does have a power over our physical well-being and not just our mental well-being.
Prayers or chanting in any form heals our minds.
When the mind is calm, collected and diverted away from mundane matters, prayers act as a balm for the wounds of the mind. When the mind heals, so does our body. Our aches and pains tend to take a back seat. We recover ourselves faster this way. The obsession for the bodily and mental pains translates into obsession for chanting something positive or spiritual according to the religious beliefs of each person.
If the person does not believe in matters spiritual, he or she could still benefit with some simple phrases like, "There is a way out of all this", "Yes I Can, Yes I Will, "I Will Overcome This Situation", ..." etc. whatever one fancies depending on the problem at hand. We should also realise that when we are doing something new, it does absorb our time and attention, so we must allow ourselves to soak in for some time with that. With time the mind would have overgrown that euphoria too.
I have doubted the power of prayers in my younger days yet that's what helped me most when I was much stressed. Stress manifests into physical discomfort within no time has been my personal observation.
However, the mind has to be strong enough not to get into more problems due to someone who may take this as an opportunity to fleece our time and money leading us to more misery.
Certainly we need a shoulder to cry on. Follow good advice or cousel. Remember we alone can take decisions to solve our personal problems with as little help as possible from others.
No one else can solve our problems for us, we have to do that ourselves. When we look to others to do that for us, it could be short lived, it could be unnecessary dependance on another person who may or may not show the same interest in solving our problems for us, consistently. Moreover, in modern times, who has this kind of time for others!
Ask yourself if you cannot do that for yourself. We are our best well-wishers, so better start utilizing our own services for our own good!
I am putting this in black and white because people who come for such counselling tend to look for all kinds of quick fixes from the counsellor without trying anything on their own for mitigating their problems. One has to go through to learn how to come out of some painful situations. No one will do the hand-holding for us for long. Not forever, at least.
Thank God we have ourselves to help! Arise, awake and get cracking on your problems but do choose the positive path, though it may not offer us instant relief.
Remember it takes time to get into problems, so it takes time to recover from them too.
Time is great healer.
Soon all will be well and we will wonder we ever went through those horrowing times.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
Prayers or chanting in any form heals our minds.
When the mind is calm, collected and diverted away from mundane matters, prayers act as a balm for the wounds of the mind. When the mind heals, so does our body. Our aches and pains tend to take a back seat. We recover ourselves faster this way. The obsession for the bodily and mental pains translates into obsession for chanting something positive or spiritual according to the religious beliefs of each person.
If the person does not believe in matters spiritual, he or she could still benefit with some simple phrases like, "There is a way out of all this", "Yes I Can, Yes I Will, "I Will Overcome This Situation", ..." etc. whatever one fancies depending on the problem at hand. We should also realise that when we are doing something new, it does absorb our time and attention, so we must allow ourselves to soak in for some time with that. With time the mind would have overgrown that euphoria too.
I have doubted the power of prayers in my younger days yet that's what helped me most when I was much stressed. Stress manifests into physical discomfort within no time has been my personal observation.
However, the mind has to be strong enough not to get into more problems due to someone who may take this as an opportunity to fleece our time and money leading us to more misery.
Certainly we need a shoulder to cry on. Follow good advice or cousel. Remember we alone can take decisions to solve our personal problems with as little help as possible from others.
No one else can solve our problems for us, we have to do that ourselves. When we look to others to do that for us, it could be short lived, it could be unnecessary dependance on another person who may or may not show the same interest in solving our problems for us, consistently. Moreover, in modern times, who has this kind of time for others!
Ask yourself if you cannot do that for yourself. We are our best well-wishers, so better start utilizing our own services for our own good!
I am putting this in black and white because people who come for such counselling tend to look for all kinds of quick fixes from the counsellor without trying anything on their own for mitigating their problems. One has to go through to learn how to come out of some painful situations. No one will do the hand-holding for us for long. Not forever, at least.
Thank God we have ourselves to help! Arise, awake and get cracking on your problems but do choose the positive path, though it may not offer us instant relief.
Remember it takes time to get into problems, so it takes time to recover from them too.
Time is great healer.
Soon all will be well and we will wonder we ever went through those horrowing times.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Floating On A Cloud
We get a feeling of floating on a cloud when we are onto something which we are doing with our whole heart and passion. The things happening and people around us become secondary, meaning we continue doing our routine work but our thoughts are in the new passion.
Many years back, when I was into learning the Lalitha Sahasranamam by heart, I had this heady feeling. There are about 1001 names of the divine Mother plus the opening and closing lines invoking her blessings.
My mother would always put on the tape of the Lalitha Sahasranamam sung so wonderfully by the Bombay Sisters, Saroja and Lalitha. If I sing it, I owe it to my mother for playing it loud at home and the Bomaby Sisters for singing it so beautifully. They are all my gurus.
This composition has a lot of ragas which I may not be able to identify by names, yet the tune got embedded in my mind long before I had the opportunity to learn the divine names. Meaning the tune floated without my being too keen on the lyrics all the years in the past.
All that changed when my elder sister from Chicago told me of how powerful singing this hymn really is. That was a period of a lot of confusion for me from all around. My mind was full of thoughts of solving some very pressing problems which involved major decisions all on my own. Those were hard times and the mind was clogged with doubts, fear, confusion, fate, futility of all actions, etc.
This divine song was recommended by my sister as a remedy for showing me the right path.
She also joked that Goddess Kamatchi is the CEO and we have to ask help and SHE will oblige.
I grabbed at it like the last straw for a drowning me. My sister had bought a tape and a book for me to follow. When I put on the tape it sounded all too familiar due to my mother listening to it for years together, without fail each Friday and each day of the navaratri and here I was blissfully unaware that this was Lalitha Sahasranamam indeed!
I knew the tune by heart and all I had to do was to follow the text to fit the tune.
Due to power cuts which Chennai was famous for during those years, I thought memorising the whole hymn would make me less dependent on the vagaries of power supply so I went about memorising it. What bliss I found during the week that I tried this divine exercise. I could sing much of it without the book by about a week of starting.
Later I honed it by singing it every single day, anytime, anywhere as I am reasonably fair singer.
Without my being aware, my mind was kept away from my struggles for some time, though I was very much with the problem. The mind had got a powerful diversion from the pending problem. With time the problem got solved smoothly.
Is it the power of Lalitha Sahasranamam, I wonder. It is something much more than that.
The mind needs a mantra, a chant or anything to divert us from our everyday work which has to go on and cannot be stopped for any reason.
It is this diversion which makes the mind calmer.
If the diversion is of a harmless nature like chanting a mantra then the mind reaps tons of benefit.
Should the diversion be like going to a bar to have a swig or two, going out to see any movie, smoking, doing stuff, then it gives the mind a high of a different kind, yet it leads to more problems to not only us but others around us too. Both are addictive yet there's a subtle difference in them. Choosing mind diversions wisely is the key word.
The passion with which I would wait to get back to singing the hymn would make others around me think I am out of my mind, yet I forgot all about my earthly problems for some time.
This is what mantras or chanting divine names actually does to a mind, whether troubled or not. The other day I had the time and opportunity to watch on youtube, MS Subbalakshmi amma singing the popular Tamil song "Kurai Onrum Illai.." What a blissful state she was in while singing it. It was like she was unaware of the entire audience in front of her. The bhakti comes through and we forget the voice, the tone, the raga, the accompaniments. Its the bhakti(divine) and the bhava (passionate expression) which takes us away into some higher state of divine bliss.
Our minds need some diversion in the form of mantras always.
It may be anything: Ram-Ram; Allah-Allah; Jesus; Narayana, Shiva-Shiva or Jai Mata Di. It will take our troubled minds away from the problem. When we cut our thoughts off our pressing earthly problems and return back later to think about it, we see it in a different perspective, we get leads to solve it in ways other than what we thought was the best way.
Stepping back from time to time with everyday work is good for a troubled mind to heal itself. A peaceful and refreshed mind is better able to solve issues in a peaceful and balanced way.
Jai Mata Di!
Mahalakshmi.
Many years back, when I was into learning the Lalitha Sahasranamam by heart, I had this heady feeling. There are about 1001 names of the divine Mother plus the opening and closing lines invoking her blessings.
My mother would always put on the tape of the Lalitha Sahasranamam sung so wonderfully by the Bombay Sisters, Saroja and Lalitha. If I sing it, I owe it to my mother for playing it loud at home and the Bomaby Sisters for singing it so beautifully. They are all my gurus.
This composition has a lot of ragas which I may not be able to identify by names, yet the tune got embedded in my mind long before I had the opportunity to learn the divine names. Meaning the tune floated without my being too keen on the lyrics all the years in the past.
All that changed when my elder sister from Chicago told me of how powerful singing this hymn really is. That was a period of a lot of confusion for me from all around. My mind was full of thoughts of solving some very pressing problems which involved major decisions all on my own. Those were hard times and the mind was clogged with doubts, fear, confusion, fate, futility of all actions, etc.
This divine song was recommended by my sister as a remedy for showing me the right path.
She also joked that Goddess Kamatchi is the CEO and we have to ask help and SHE will oblige.
I grabbed at it like the last straw for a drowning me. My sister had bought a tape and a book for me to follow. When I put on the tape it sounded all too familiar due to my mother listening to it for years together, without fail each Friday and each day of the navaratri and here I was blissfully unaware that this was Lalitha Sahasranamam indeed!
I knew the tune by heart and all I had to do was to follow the text to fit the tune.
Due to power cuts which Chennai was famous for during those years, I thought memorising the whole hymn would make me less dependent on the vagaries of power supply so I went about memorising it. What bliss I found during the week that I tried this divine exercise. I could sing much of it without the book by about a week of starting.
Later I honed it by singing it every single day, anytime, anywhere as I am reasonably fair singer.
Without my being aware, my mind was kept away from my struggles for some time, though I was very much with the problem. The mind had got a powerful diversion from the pending problem. With time the problem got solved smoothly.
Is it the power of Lalitha Sahasranamam, I wonder. It is something much more than that.
The mind needs a mantra, a chant or anything to divert us from our everyday work which has to go on and cannot be stopped for any reason.
It is this diversion which makes the mind calmer.
If the diversion is of a harmless nature like chanting a mantra then the mind reaps tons of benefit.
Should the diversion be like going to a bar to have a swig or two, going out to see any movie, smoking, doing stuff, then it gives the mind a high of a different kind, yet it leads to more problems to not only us but others around us too. Both are addictive yet there's a subtle difference in them. Choosing mind diversions wisely is the key word.
The passion with which I would wait to get back to singing the hymn would make others around me think I am out of my mind, yet I forgot all about my earthly problems for some time.
This is what mantras or chanting divine names actually does to a mind, whether troubled or not. The other day I had the time and opportunity to watch on youtube, MS Subbalakshmi amma singing the popular Tamil song "Kurai Onrum Illai.." What a blissful state she was in while singing it. It was like she was unaware of the entire audience in front of her. The bhakti comes through and we forget the voice, the tone, the raga, the accompaniments. Its the bhakti(divine) and the bhava (passionate expression) which takes us away into some higher state of divine bliss.
Our minds need some diversion in the form of mantras always.
It may be anything: Ram-Ram; Allah-Allah; Jesus; Narayana, Shiva-Shiva or Jai Mata Di. It will take our troubled minds away from the problem. When we cut our thoughts off our pressing earthly problems and return back later to think about it, we see it in a different perspective, we get leads to solve it in ways other than what we thought was the best way.
Stepping back from time to time with everyday work is good for a troubled mind to heal itself. A peaceful and refreshed mind is better able to solve issues in a peaceful and balanced way.
Jai Mata Di!
Mahalakshmi.
Asking For Help
At one time or the other we all need help with something.
Blessed are those who get help without asking.
The lesser mortals have to ask for help.
Asking for help is not so easy for some. The fear of asking and being rejected or getting no for an answer most often puts people away from even asking.
Besides it depends on the type of help asked for.
Unmindful of whether the answer is going to be positve or negative, one must be prepared for either. Feel blessed if help is offered. Move on if the reply is negative. Either way it would help to communicate whenever one needs help.
Remember no one will percieve that we require help and come forward. We have to ask as that alone is the key to many locked doors behind which opportunities may lie. Knock anyway and find out!
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Blessed are those who get help without asking.
The lesser mortals have to ask for help.
Asking for help is not so easy for some. The fear of asking and being rejected or getting no for an answer most often puts people away from even asking.
Besides it depends on the type of help asked for.
Unmindful of whether the answer is going to be positve or negative, one must be prepared for either. Feel blessed if help is offered. Move on if the reply is negative. Either way it would help to communicate whenever one needs help.
Remember no one will percieve that we require help and come forward. We have to ask as that alone is the key to many locked doors behind which opportunities may lie. Knock anyway and find out!
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Friday, December 10, 2010
Impatience And Superiority Complex
We have progressed so much with modern, fast responding gadgets that we no longer have the patience to wait and watch when it stops working. The same goes with people who are slow at work even if they are highly skilled. Doing things fast has (sadly) come to mean as being an expert, which is far from truth.
For eg. if we put on the computer and it does not respond within seconds, (not even minutes!), we get angry and impatient. We want the desktop to come alive the moment we switch it on. If we struggle with a gadget for even a few minutes our thoughts race to junk it off besides feeling very angry and helpless.
We call the service person expecting him to arrive and attend to the problem immediately. We also comment how slow he is or how he lacks proper knowledge in remedying the situation! If the service has to be paid for, the anger gallops.
Anger and helplessness come only when we do not know how to deal with such issues ourselves. Knowledge and skills are powerful tools which makes us less dependent on outside help or intervention in rectifying it ourselves.
This goes for replacing fused bulbs, blenders coming to a grinding halt in the middle of the process, our not knowing how to use the TV remote or our cell phones properly with any number of buttons on them. We tend to think if we knew how, we would be quicker than the help we called in.
We are too lethargic to learn how to rectify things on our own. We look and expecct help always. On top we get impatient with the person who comes to help us. We want the help also to arrive quickly and rectify the fault quickly. This is the trend I have noticed everywhere.
I recall an incident which took place in the year 1991 when a PC at home was unheard of in India and very expensive to buy,even for an upper middle class family unless for business purposes.
My husband got into the Computer Aided Drawings business which was home-based, all thanks to my eldest sister's help in setting him up, though he did not have any knowledge about operating computers. It was the 286 cpu model and the price was
Rs.52000/-. Earlier to this was the 86 model which was really slow. Then we went on to upgrade the PC to 386, 486 and Pentiums, etc. over time.
He learnt CADD on his own. He was not afraid of opening up the hardware and repairing minor circuit faults and then he knew how to bring the software back working when it came to a standstill. When such after sales services was far and few, it paid him rich dividends in learning such things all by himself.
He got orders for engineering drawings from reputed companies and hotels in Chennai.
I would like to share an event which shows all can talk on how slow or unskilled others are at work while how they could have finished the same work in no time without being experts at it! Mere talking and insulting others seems to be the trend to put others down to show themselves up.
A relative, who is an engineer, used to draw his plan outlays manually for hours, came to execute an order which was urgent. He also had a working knowledge of CADD or so he claimed. Being a relative, we knew the service was for free even if both knew it cost my husband his time on the computer.
Be that as it may, what was more irritating was the back-seat driving with constant comments of how slow my husband was and how fast he would have drawn that simple drawing on the computer, in quarter of the time my husband was taking. Such comments could have put my husband off yet, he being a very calm and peaceful person by nature, kept working at the drawing quietly. The drawing was almost finished but for some finishing touches requiring 15 minutes of work, when he realised that he had some urgent bank work, so he just stopped, got up, dressed to go out! This shocked the relative so much that at first he began to protest, then slowly tried to cajole my husband to finish off the drawing which was just minutes away from completion.
Very calmly my husband informed the relative to occupy the (driver's) seat and finish the drawing himself since he also had knowledge of CADD, as he had to go to the bank before it closed for the day.
After about half hour, when my husband came back from the bank, this relative was still struggling with the next step from where it was left off by my husband.
That day this relative learnt that commenting was different from getting his hands dirty on any job.
Though my husband maintained a dignified silence, the lesson was well taught!
From that time onwards the boastful relative behaved in a more respectful way towards my husband.
Some lessons are learnt the hard way.
Mahalakshmi.
For eg. if we put on the computer and it does not respond within seconds, (not even minutes!), we get angry and impatient. We want the desktop to come alive the moment we switch it on. If we struggle with a gadget for even a few minutes our thoughts race to junk it off besides feeling very angry and helpless.
We call the service person expecting him to arrive and attend to the problem immediately. We also comment how slow he is or how he lacks proper knowledge in remedying the situation! If the service has to be paid for, the anger gallops.
Anger and helplessness come only when we do not know how to deal with such issues ourselves. Knowledge and skills are powerful tools which makes us less dependent on outside help or intervention in rectifying it ourselves.
This goes for replacing fused bulbs, blenders coming to a grinding halt in the middle of the process, our not knowing how to use the TV remote or our cell phones properly with any number of buttons on them. We tend to think if we knew how, we would be quicker than the help we called in.
We are too lethargic to learn how to rectify things on our own. We look and expecct help always. On top we get impatient with the person who comes to help us. We want the help also to arrive quickly and rectify the fault quickly. This is the trend I have noticed everywhere.
I recall an incident which took place in the year 1991 when a PC at home was unheard of in India and very expensive to buy,even for an upper middle class family unless for business purposes.
My husband got into the Computer Aided Drawings business which was home-based, all thanks to my eldest sister's help in setting him up, though he did not have any knowledge about operating computers. It was the 286 cpu model and the price was
Rs.52000/-. Earlier to this was the 86 model which was really slow. Then we went on to upgrade the PC to 386, 486 and Pentiums, etc. over time.
He learnt CADD on his own. He was not afraid of opening up the hardware and repairing minor circuit faults and then he knew how to bring the software back working when it came to a standstill. When such after sales services was far and few, it paid him rich dividends in learning such things all by himself.
He got orders for engineering drawings from reputed companies and hotels in Chennai.
I would like to share an event which shows all can talk on how slow or unskilled others are at work while how they could have finished the same work in no time without being experts at it! Mere talking and insulting others seems to be the trend to put others down to show themselves up.
A relative, who is an engineer, used to draw his plan outlays manually for hours, came to execute an order which was urgent. He also had a working knowledge of CADD or so he claimed. Being a relative, we knew the service was for free even if both knew it cost my husband his time on the computer.
Be that as it may, what was more irritating was the back-seat driving with constant comments of how slow my husband was and how fast he would have drawn that simple drawing on the computer, in quarter of the time my husband was taking. Such comments could have put my husband off yet, he being a very calm and peaceful person by nature, kept working at the drawing quietly. The drawing was almost finished but for some finishing touches requiring 15 minutes of work, when he realised that he had some urgent bank work, so he just stopped, got up, dressed to go out! This shocked the relative so much that at first he began to protest, then slowly tried to cajole my husband to finish off the drawing which was just minutes away from completion.
Very calmly my husband informed the relative to occupy the (driver's) seat and finish the drawing himself since he also had knowledge of CADD, as he had to go to the bank before it closed for the day.
After about half hour, when my husband came back from the bank, this relative was still struggling with the next step from where it was left off by my husband.
That day this relative learnt that commenting was different from getting his hands dirty on any job.
Though my husband maintained a dignified silence, the lesson was well taught!
From that time onwards the boastful relative behaved in a more respectful way towards my husband.
Some lessons are learnt the hard way.
Mahalakshmi.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Power Cut And 3 Days Of Total Blackout
Tamil Nadu Electricity Board. TNEB for short. This is our power supplier.
Heavy rains always plays havoc with the power supply to our flats. Only our cable leading to our flats gets burnt or short circuits and power goes phut.
When the power went off, everyone thought the other will complain to the EB. I did complain over the phone several times before leaving for and after returning back from work. The second day, all the guys came out voluntarily not being able to cope without electricity!
Then it was chasing these guys on the phone and in person and requesting them to rectify the fault. But they were busy attending to urgent calls from everywhere. When it rains these men make money. There's no making hay while the sun shines :)
Since it's cable burning fault and not a fuse off call in our case, the men take longer to come.
The EB men dig a trench across the road leading to the junction box, patch up the joint yet again with liquid tar and fill the trench. This was a temporary solution to our eternal problem of getting TV sets, washing machines, ACs and heaters repaired on and off. The lights too flickered often whenever we used to switch on the water pumping motor. There had to be a permanant solution for this.
Today I was home when the men arrived after 2 days of constant follow ups.
I asked them how we could solve it. They said we have to replace our burnt cable with a new better gauge one. Even though it is actually the responsibility of the EB department to provide/replace burnt cables, they often escape by saying that there's no stock of new cable with the office. For 4 years we suffered because we were reluctant to buy them the new cable. We all may have spent double the amount in repairing or replacing our gadgets over a period of time.
This time we could not suffer anymore and we all took a decision to cough up money to put this eternal problem to an end.
Quickly we made calculations for the items and the labor for the 3 men.
It came to about Rs.9000/- total for the entire work.
40 meters of 35 guage cable wire, an insulation tape, 80 feet of 2" 6mm guage pvc pipes to encase the cable for protection against further external damage like rainwater, etc. and the men's labor charges was all that was required to solve our power cut problem.
3 days of no TV, no lights, no water in the pipe taught us to value these things which we take for granted. For me no internet and checking of mails and blogging too.
Today I feel happy to get connected again. The lights shine brighter with no flickering though we are all poorer by about Rs.9000/-. But we lose some to gain some.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
Heavy rains always plays havoc with the power supply to our flats. Only our cable leading to our flats gets burnt or short circuits and power goes phut.
When the power went off, everyone thought the other will complain to the EB. I did complain over the phone several times before leaving for and after returning back from work. The second day, all the guys came out voluntarily not being able to cope without electricity!
Then it was chasing these guys on the phone and in person and requesting them to rectify the fault. But they were busy attending to urgent calls from everywhere. When it rains these men make money. There's no making hay while the sun shines :)
Since it's cable burning fault and not a fuse off call in our case, the men take longer to come.
The EB men dig a trench across the road leading to the junction box, patch up the joint yet again with liquid tar and fill the trench. This was a temporary solution to our eternal problem of getting TV sets, washing machines, ACs and heaters repaired on and off. The lights too flickered often whenever we used to switch on the water pumping motor. There had to be a permanant solution for this.
Today I was home when the men arrived after 2 days of constant follow ups.
I asked them how we could solve it. They said we have to replace our burnt cable with a new better gauge one. Even though it is actually the responsibility of the EB department to provide/replace burnt cables, they often escape by saying that there's no stock of new cable with the office. For 4 years we suffered because we were reluctant to buy them the new cable. We all may have spent double the amount in repairing or replacing our gadgets over a period of time.
This time we could not suffer anymore and we all took a decision to cough up money to put this eternal problem to an end.
Quickly we made calculations for the items and the labor for the 3 men.
It came to about Rs.9000/- total for the entire work.
40 meters of 35 guage cable wire, an insulation tape, 80 feet of 2" 6mm guage pvc pipes to encase the cable for protection against further external damage like rainwater, etc. and the men's labor charges was all that was required to solve our power cut problem.
3 days of no TV, no lights, no water in the pipe taught us to value these things which we take for granted. For me no internet and checking of mails and blogging too.
Today I feel happy to get connected again. The lights shine brighter with no flickering though we are all poorer by about Rs.9000/-. But we lose some to gain some.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Little Mirza And The P.T. Teacher
This was when I was 16 years old and substituting for my mother in the All Saints' High School, Hyderabad.
She was the class teacher for 1st standard - 1C to be precise.
It is a boys' school.
There were classes for English, Maths, Social Studies, Hindi or any optional language, Drawing, Music and of course, P.T. (short form of 'Physical Training').
I used to take all the boys of my class to the Music Hall where Mrs.Burns would conduct the music classes. She would play the piano so well. She would imitate the sound of thunder and the gentle flow of a brook through her gifted swift fingers. I would look forward to these music classes more than my tiny students!
I would sing the rhymes in perfect tune so she would admire my singing and ask me to sing more and more songs other than rhymes too. We all enjoyed those music sessions so much.
Drawing class was another eye-opener. Never imagined what all resides inside the heads of tiny tots' as they doodle away to glory on any given topic. I just loved watching the young boys draw pictures of parrots, crows, carrots, scenery, etc. I would secretly laugh at some drawings as they were wild imaginations and yet, some were so beautiful, you would think he could be the next Ravi Verma in the making. Wonder what those boys have become now and where they are! They were all 5 years' old then!
Well one boy named Mirza from 1B, from the next class, sneaked into my class one day and hid under one of the benches, while all the sections of the 1st standard boys were busy attending the PT class in the huge playground below. That was our free period and we would mostly be correcting the scrap books.
Some boys must have brought the matter to the attention of the Mr.Dayanand, P.T. master-cum-dance master-cum Hindi teacher.
He may have been more harsh with some students and made them kneel-down or stand in the hot sun for long. Our Mirza must have gone through some incident to make him scared to avoid the PT classes totally.
This P.T. master came to my class and beat the boy up, dragging him to the grounds. This sight was shocked me no end. The boy was trying to cling to me in desperation and here I was voiceless not knowing how to react to all that.
There was no way I could speak up for the boy whose class teacher was another teacher called Mrs. Iona.
This matter went to the Rev.Brother. The boy's parents were asked to meet him. Permission was sought for their ward to be excused from attending PT classes in future. There were arguments and counter-arguments to that. The class teacher supported the PT teacher saying, 'PT exercises are a must for all boys', 'If one boy shows the way, the other boys too will excuse themselves from attending further PT classes' etc.
I told my mother about this incident and forgot all about it, until next time I substitued for her. I found little Mirza in my class! Later mamma told me, the boy refused to be in that section as the class teacher and the PT teacher were both very strict about his attending the PT classes. Their parents requested the Rector to transfer him to 1C, as my mom was quite mild with all the boys in all classes.
Mirza escaped PT classes by bunking school on those days which had PT period! My mom too was saved from facing any complaints on this issue.
There are so many memories of my days in All Saints' High School as a substitute teacher.
Maybe when I remember them, I shall share it with you all. Until then, cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
She was the class teacher for 1st standard - 1C to be precise.
It is a boys' school.
There were classes for English, Maths, Social Studies, Hindi or any optional language, Drawing, Music and of course, P.T. (short form of 'Physical Training').
I used to take all the boys of my class to the Music Hall where Mrs.Burns would conduct the music classes. She would play the piano so well. She would imitate the sound of thunder and the gentle flow of a brook through her gifted swift fingers. I would look forward to these music classes more than my tiny students!
I would sing the rhymes in perfect tune so she would admire my singing and ask me to sing more and more songs other than rhymes too. We all enjoyed those music sessions so much.
Drawing class was another eye-opener. Never imagined what all resides inside the heads of tiny tots' as they doodle away to glory on any given topic. I just loved watching the young boys draw pictures of parrots, crows, carrots, scenery, etc. I would secretly laugh at some drawings as they were wild imaginations and yet, some were so beautiful, you would think he could be the next Ravi Verma in the making. Wonder what those boys have become now and where they are! They were all 5 years' old then!
Well one boy named Mirza from 1B, from the next class, sneaked into my class one day and hid under one of the benches, while all the sections of the 1st standard boys were busy attending the PT class in the huge playground below. That was our free period and we would mostly be correcting the scrap books.
Some boys must have brought the matter to the attention of the Mr.Dayanand, P.T. master-cum-dance master-cum Hindi teacher.
He may have been more harsh with some students and made them kneel-down or stand in the hot sun for long. Our Mirza must have gone through some incident to make him scared to avoid the PT classes totally.
This P.T. master came to my class and beat the boy up, dragging him to the grounds. This sight was shocked me no end. The boy was trying to cling to me in desperation and here I was voiceless not knowing how to react to all that.
There was no way I could speak up for the boy whose class teacher was another teacher called Mrs. Iona.
This matter went to the Rev.Brother. The boy's parents were asked to meet him. Permission was sought for their ward to be excused from attending PT classes in future. There were arguments and counter-arguments to that. The class teacher supported the PT teacher saying, 'PT exercises are a must for all boys', 'If one boy shows the way, the other boys too will excuse themselves from attending further PT classes' etc.
I told my mother about this incident and forgot all about it, until next time I substitued for her. I found little Mirza in my class! Later mamma told me, the boy refused to be in that section as the class teacher and the PT teacher were both very strict about his attending the PT classes. Their parents requested the Rector to transfer him to 1C, as my mom was quite mild with all the boys in all classes.
Mirza escaped PT classes by bunking school on those days which had PT period! My mom too was saved from facing any complaints on this issue.
There are so many memories of my days in All Saints' High School as a substitute teacher.
Maybe when I remember them, I shall share it with you all. Until then, cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Good Karma
A month back, my husband and I were invited to the wedding of the only daughter of Mr.T.Nataraajan, at the Mayor Ramanathan Hall, Santhome Road, Chennai.
The invitees must have easily exceeded 2000.
The marriage hall is huge and roomy, therefore, accommodating guests in thousands should not have been a problem. Right from managing the car parking, ushering in guests at the entrance, to directing them to the lift, hall, etc., were very well co-ordinated by a core group.
The marriage was well-attended, very well organized and the host circulated and attended to all the guests personally. The chaos which is typical of huge weddings was absent, meaning every little detail must have been taken care of with meticulous planning much ahead of the event.
Yet this blog is not about any of the above!
It was about the wedding invitation itself.
The host personally came to invite each one of us. The words he spoke, while handing us the card, were very sincere and touching enough to indicate that our presence meant a lot to him.
The wedding invitation card strictly requested us not to bring along any gifts of money, bouquets, etc. instead we were invited to grace the occassion and bless the couple for a long and happy married life.
The purity of thought made me re-read this humble, multi-dimensional request until its import could be absorbed fully.
Marriage is basically wishing the couple, gifting, mingling with guests who don't often meet in person except for occasions like these, catching up with the latest in each other's lives and enjoying the wedding feast.
To get an opportunity to celebrate, invite everyone known, attending personally to guests, and serving food to thousands without any expectations is in itself an act of good karma.
Here's an example of doing all of that in a single stroke.
This adds up in one's personal balance sheet, on the credits side, under the heading 'Good Karmas'.
Mahalakshmi.
The invitees must have easily exceeded 2000.
The marriage hall is huge and roomy, therefore, accommodating guests in thousands should not have been a problem. Right from managing the car parking, ushering in guests at the entrance, to directing them to the lift, hall, etc., were very well co-ordinated by a core group.
The marriage was well-attended, very well organized and the host circulated and attended to all the guests personally. The chaos which is typical of huge weddings was absent, meaning every little detail must have been taken care of with meticulous planning much ahead of the event.
Yet this blog is not about any of the above!
It was about the wedding invitation itself.
The host personally came to invite each one of us. The words he spoke, while handing us the card, were very sincere and touching enough to indicate that our presence meant a lot to him.
The wedding invitation card strictly requested us not to bring along any gifts of money, bouquets, etc. instead we were invited to grace the occassion and bless the couple for a long and happy married life.
The purity of thought made me re-read this humble, multi-dimensional request until its import could be absorbed fully.
Marriage is basically wishing the couple, gifting, mingling with guests who don't often meet in person except for occasions like these, catching up with the latest in each other's lives and enjoying the wedding feast.
To get an opportunity to celebrate, invite everyone known, attending personally to guests, and serving food to thousands without any expectations is in itself an act of good karma.
Here's an example of doing all of that in a single stroke.
This adds up in one's personal balance sheet, on the credits side, under the heading 'Good Karmas'.
Mahalakshmi.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Orange Saree
Those were my college days.
I used to wear cotton sarees.
We sisters used to wash, starch lightly, dry and iron them.
One of the sarees I used to like was a mix of cotton and polyester. It was orange and had beautiful yellow-white (sunflower) floral designs all over. It din't need starching or ironing. I found it so convenient to just wash and wear it.
Light browns, beige, light pinks, light orange, rust color are the shades that suit most Asian skin colors, this orange saree suited my skin color so well that many would compliment me whenever I wore this saree to college.
For four years I used it extensively as it was my favourite saree.
At home they would joke about my liking this saree and say they wanted to see me wear different colors too.
My mother heard these comments and decided to act on it.
Here in India, we usually collect unwanted clothes and barter them for steel untensils or plastic buckets, mugs, tubs, etc. (which the street vendors carried on their bicycles) with the quantity of clothes we have. These vendors came door to door to collect old clothes and old newspaper and trade their wares. These vendors in turn wash, iron the old ones and sell it for a good price as second hand clothes elsewhere. With the money got back they would re-invest in purchase of wholesale stainless steel and plastic household articles. This cycle goes on and on.
My mother would collect everyone's old clothes in a bundle and whenever the vendor came she would barter for such things.
Mother dear threw in my favourite orange saree (without my knowledge)with the other lot of old discards and bartered them for a plastic bucket and mug. I din't know about it for a very long time. I kept searching for my orange saree and she kept mum for a very long time. One day I told I really missed my saree and din't know whatever happened to it. My mom told me she had bartered it away since I had outworn it, for the new orange bucket and mug. I fought, pouted, refused food, etc yet knew it would never come back and even if it did come back, I would not wear it as it would have been tried by someone else. I learnt to console myself.
It was one among many lessons I learnt in detachment!
There were many more to follow through the years and my learning still continues with my mom living with me. With time we learn to accept such things magnanimously and get mature enough not to fight or pout when such things continue to happen. After all my mom and I share a deep bonding which an orange saree cannot and should not be the cause for fissures.
A few years back the same happened to my coca cola brown chiffon saree which I just loved for its beautiful small prints in pink/white/green. It was a gift from my sister in Canada and I was so sentimental about it. It was the wash and wear type of saree, never faded and ever bright with every wash. That also went to the vendor in Chennai while the orange one went to a Hyderabad vendor.
But I have outgrown the anger, deprivation and frustration now. Indeed I have matured and learnt how to move on without some things which are discarded without my permission or knowledge!!
Does God need our permission to discard this body of ours, when our time comes?! So what are mere clothes and things which we use and get so attached to? What if they were stolen by some unknown person or lost in transit or my mother? Its lost and it should not matter who was responsible for that. I move on with life.
Mahalakshmi.
I used to wear cotton sarees.
We sisters used to wash, starch lightly, dry and iron them.
One of the sarees I used to like was a mix of cotton and polyester. It was orange and had beautiful yellow-white (sunflower) floral designs all over. It din't need starching or ironing. I found it so convenient to just wash and wear it.
Light browns, beige, light pinks, light orange, rust color are the shades that suit most Asian skin colors, this orange saree suited my skin color so well that many would compliment me whenever I wore this saree to college.
For four years I used it extensively as it was my favourite saree.
At home they would joke about my liking this saree and say they wanted to see me wear different colors too.
My mother heard these comments and decided to act on it.
Here in India, we usually collect unwanted clothes and barter them for steel untensils or plastic buckets, mugs, tubs, etc. (which the street vendors carried on their bicycles) with the quantity of clothes we have. These vendors came door to door to collect old clothes and old newspaper and trade their wares. These vendors in turn wash, iron the old ones and sell it for a good price as second hand clothes elsewhere. With the money got back they would re-invest in purchase of wholesale stainless steel and plastic household articles. This cycle goes on and on.
My mother would collect everyone's old clothes in a bundle and whenever the vendor came she would barter for such things.
Mother dear threw in my favourite orange saree (without my knowledge)with the other lot of old discards and bartered them for a plastic bucket and mug. I din't know about it for a very long time. I kept searching for my orange saree and she kept mum for a very long time. One day I told I really missed my saree and din't know whatever happened to it. My mom told me she had bartered it away since I had outworn it, for the new orange bucket and mug. I fought, pouted, refused food, etc yet knew it would never come back and even if it did come back, I would not wear it as it would have been tried by someone else. I learnt to console myself.
It was one among many lessons I learnt in detachment!
There were many more to follow through the years and my learning still continues with my mom living with me. With time we learn to accept such things magnanimously and get mature enough not to fight or pout when such things continue to happen. After all my mom and I share a deep bonding which an orange saree cannot and should not be the cause for fissures.
A few years back the same happened to my coca cola brown chiffon saree which I just loved for its beautiful small prints in pink/white/green. It was a gift from my sister in Canada and I was so sentimental about it. It was the wash and wear type of saree, never faded and ever bright with every wash. That also went to the vendor in Chennai while the orange one went to a Hyderabad vendor.
But I have outgrown the anger, deprivation and frustration now. Indeed I have matured and learnt how to move on without some things which are discarded without my permission or knowledge!!
Does God need our permission to discard this body of ours, when our time comes?! So what are mere clothes and things which we use and get so attached to? What if they were stolen by some unknown person or lost in transit or my mother? Its lost and it should not matter who was responsible for that. I move on with life.
Mahalakshmi.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Domestic Voilence
Our flat has a sweeper who comes in for half hour and cleans up the common areas everyday. She would constantly take leave which was a cause of concern for all of us.
She is a frail woman, very weak and always used to come with puffed eyes. She has a son who works somewhere and a teenaged school-going daughter.
Since her husband is a daily wage earner and a drunkard, she had the responsibility to supplement her son's income to run her family.
This drunkard would beat her up regularly everyday. Would question her about where she went, why she was sitting while she should be standing, (Perhaps he may also ask why the dog on the street barked thrice instead of once or twice just to have a reason to beat her up). This was an everyday ritual and she lived in perpetual fear of her husband.
She would come to work, hurriedly finish off, run back home, always be petrified with fear that her husband may have come back home. Be ready for this barbaric ritual, anyway. That was what she went through all these years. He would come to our flats searching for her, I was the one who used to turn this fellow away from the gate itself. I din't want to see such fellows around our complex. They will be emboldened to enact this tamasha in front of us just to show their power and might over their mate. I told him to his face that I would not like to see him at our place under the pretext of searching for his wife.
For for the past one month, I noticed that she appeared happier, her daughter too, who would substitute for her often, appeared much brighter and healthier than in the past.
Only yesterday when I was home, I had the opportunity to interact with her for some issues. In passing I asked her about her husband. She broke into such a blissful smile. She said his beating has stopped completely! He had reformed. I could not believe my ears and asked her how this happened.
She narrated how, one day while on his beating spree, his son who had come home earlier from work saw him at it, tried to physically separate his parents, got hit by his father and when his father din't stop beating the mother, he took his crudely made cricket bat lying around and hit him on his forehead. The father fell down more shocked than from the hit. Since he could not believe he got up and again went for his wife, this time the boy seemed to have hit his father harder. The boy also warned his father not to touch his mother and if he did so, he won't know where he will hit him the next time. He also told his mother to inform him the next time this was repeated in his absence.
Luckily there was no next time. The grown son has taken over control of the situation. He often checks with the mother on his father's behaviour while all are present at home. She said her husband is now afraid of his son. The son was behaving like the headmaster now. If he asks his father to sit or stand or go out, he meekly obeys without a word of protest.
She said she felt so peaceful and her daughter who also used to get beaten alongwith the mother, is shining with good health, both physically and mentally.
Kind words, surrendering to domestic voilence, submitting oneself to such behaviour from the other are not the answer to this problem was the lesson I learnt while talking to her yesterday. Give the doctor his own medicine in full measure seems to be the best remedy. Going on inflicting pain by one and going on bearing it by the other is not a healthy equation at all. The sufferer has to address this problem to make the torturer understand what it is to suffer such domestic voilence for whatever the reason may be for such voilent behaviour. We are not animals. Even among animals, like in dog fights on the roads, we find both parties, giving it as good as they get it.
The more the passive one suffers in silence, the more the upper hand the dominant partner takes. It becomes such a bad habit and addiction that both parties actually anticipate these sad occurances as a routine.
In the above case the woman, who is too weak physically, has been advised by her son to hit back with a stick should his father beat her while he is away. Now she says, she no more lives in a constant fear of physical abuse and torture. While she was narrating the bad treatment I could imagine what she must have gone through. The drunkard would catch hold of her frail hands so tightly that all her glass bangles would break under that pressure, at times resulting in cuts and bruises on her wrists. Pulling and tugging at her hair was another torture where her head would ache for many hours after the incident. Of course beating and kicking was expected on top of these.
Salute to the worthy son for his courage to stand up against this kind of jungle behaviour.
Mahalakshmi.
She is a frail woman, very weak and always used to come with puffed eyes. She has a son who works somewhere and a teenaged school-going daughter.
Since her husband is a daily wage earner and a drunkard, she had the responsibility to supplement her son's income to run her family.
This drunkard would beat her up regularly everyday. Would question her about where she went, why she was sitting while she should be standing, (Perhaps he may also ask why the dog on the street barked thrice instead of once or twice just to have a reason to beat her up). This was an everyday ritual and she lived in perpetual fear of her husband.
She would come to work, hurriedly finish off, run back home, always be petrified with fear that her husband may have come back home. Be ready for this barbaric ritual, anyway. That was what she went through all these years. He would come to our flats searching for her, I was the one who used to turn this fellow away from the gate itself. I din't want to see such fellows around our complex. They will be emboldened to enact this tamasha in front of us just to show their power and might over their mate. I told him to his face that I would not like to see him at our place under the pretext of searching for his wife.
For for the past one month, I noticed that she appeared happier, her daughter too, who would substitute for her often, appeared much brighter and healthier than in the past.
Only yesterday when I was home, I had the opportunity to interact with her for some issues. In passing I asked her about her husband. She broke into such a blissful smile. She said his beating has stopped completely! He had reformed. I could not believe my ears and asked her how this happened.
She narrated how, one day while on his beating spree, his son who had come home earlier from work saw him at it, tried to physically separate his parents, got hit by his father and when his father din't stop beating the mother, he took his crudely made cricket bat lying around and hit him on his forehead. The father fell down more shocked than from the hit. Since he could not believe he got up and again went for his wife, this time the boy seemed to have hit his father harder. The boy also warned his father not to touch his mother and if he did so, he won't know where he will hit him the next time. He also told his mother to inform him the next time this was repeated in his absence.
Luckily there was no next time. The grown son has taken over control of the situation. He often checks with the mother on his father's behaviour while all are present at home. She said her husband is now afraid of his son. The son was behaving like the headmaster now. If he asks his father to sit or stand or go out, he meekly obeys without a word of protest.
She said she felt so peaceful and her daughter who also used to get beaten alongwith the mother, is shining with good health, both physically and mentally.
Kind words, surrendering to domestic voilence, submitting oneself to such behaviour from the other are not the answer to this problem was the lesson I learnt while talking to her yesterday. Give the doctor his own medicine in full measure seems to be the best remedy. Going on inflicting pain by one and going on bearing it by the other is not a healthy equation at all. The sufferer has to address this problem to make the torturer understand what it is to suffer such domestic voilence for whatever the reason may be for such voilent behaviour. We are not animals. Even among animals, like in dog fights on the roads, we find both parties, giving it as good as they get it.
The more the passive one suffers in silence, the more the upper hand the dominant partner takes. It becomes such a bad habit and addiction that both parties actually anticipate these sad occurances as a routine.
In the above case the woman, who is too weak physically, has been advised by her son to hit back with a stick should his father beat her while he is away. Now she says, she no more lives in a constant fear of physical abuse and torture. While she was narrating the bad treatment I could imagine what she must have gone through. The drunkard would catch hold of her frail hands so tightly that all her glass bangles would break under that pressure, at times resulting in cuts and bruises on her wrists. Pulling and tugging at her hair was another torture where her head would ache for many hours after the incident. Of course beating and kicking was expected on top of these.
Salute to the worthy son for his courage to stand up against this kind of jungle behaviour.
Mahalakshmi.
Train Journey & The Jackfruit
This was in 1981 while my younger sister and I were working in Bangalore, when I got an offer to attend an interview in Bombay, now Mumbai, in a company which manufactured coconut oil under the brand name 'Parachute'.
Bombay being a new place, my sister and myself booked tickets to attend my interview.
On the day of travel we had loads of work at office so we had barely any time to reach the station.
Though our luggage was compact, we had bought a huge ripe jackfruit which weighed at least half a ton! Jackfruits are plenty in Bangalore but were rare in good old Hyderabad and we thought it would be rarer still in Bombay! How wrong we were!!
We wanted to gift our aunt at whose house we were to land.
Cut back to the railway station. At the station, our train was about to leave and both of us were running with that half ton load in hand, afraid we will not have time to search for our compartment, we managed to board the nearest one, thinking we could get down in the next station and board the reserved compartment. It was a night journey and we were tired already.
At the next station halt, which was half hour later, we got down with the load, got into our compartment in the dark, only to find most lights switched off inside the cabins and passengers sleeping.
To our horror, we saw our reserved berths occupied with passengers who had covered themselves with blankets and pretended to be fast asleep!!
When we tapped them gently, they informed us that they were allotted these berths by the TT. We went hunting for him. He informed us of some rule which says, if passengers don't check in within half hour of journey, the TT can allot the berths to the next in waiting. Our arguments about the next halt taking half hour and our being there on time fell on deaf ears. Luckily for us there were two berths which were vacant in the same cabin.
We landed in Mumbai, thinking, our aunt and family will be happy to see our gift for them. A cousin came to pick us at the station. On our way we passed by some local markets where we found so many jackfruits piled up! So it was not a rare fruit after all. Suddenly our arms began to ache with carrying the heavy fruit up and down all the way from Bangalore.
We enjoyed the fruit but we got wiser about what size gift to choose from next time when we went visiting relatives and friends!
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi.
Bombay being a new place, my sister and myself booked tickets to attend my interview.
On the day of travel we had loads of work at office so we had barely any time to reach the station.
Though our luggage was compact, we had bought a huge ripe jackfruit which weighed at least half a ton! Jackfruits are plenty in Bangalore but were rare in good old Hyderabad and we thought it would be rarer still in Bombay! How wrong we were!!
We wanted to gift our aunt at whose house we were to land.
Cut back to the railway station. At the station, our train was about to leave and both of us were running with that half ton load in hand, afraid we will not have time to search for our compartment, we managed to board the nearest one, thinking we could get down in the next station and board the reserved compartment. It was a night journey and we were tired already.
At the next station halt, which was half hour later, we got down with the load, got into our compartment in the dark, only to find most lights switched off inside the cabins and passengers sleeping.
To our horror, we saw our reserved berths occupied with passengers who had covered themselves with blankets and pretended to be fast asleep!!
When we tapped them gently, they informed us that they were allotted these berths by the TT. We went hunting for him. He informed us of some rule which says, if passengers don't check in within half hour of journey, the TT can allot the berths to the next in waiting. Our arguments about the next halt taking half hour and our being there on time fell on deaf ears. Luckily for us there were two berths which were vacant in the same cabin.
We landed in Mumbai, thinking, our aunt and family will be happy to see our gift for them. A cousin came to pick us at the station. On our way we passed by some local markets where we found so many jackfruits piled up! So it was not a rare fruit after all. Suddenly our arms began to ache with carrying the heavy fruit up and down all the way from Bangalore.
We enjoyed the fruit but we got wiser about what size gift to choose from next time when we went visiting relatives and friends!
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi.
Division Of Labor
The cause of all disputes everywhere is, "I did so much work", "No one helps me", "Will no one help me with household chores/tasks", etc.
These are some of the common refrains we hear across homes from most women.
As humans, we all enjoy being left alone and not made to work at something, espcially helping around house! A single person, especially the woman of the house, cannot be expected to do all the work but this is true. 80% of the work is done by 20% members while 80% escape work and enjoy liesure at home.
But the woman of the house can get around with a simple solution to this problem.
She has to take a lead in listing out all important tasks.
Segregate tasks into outdoors and indoors.
Strictly allocate all members of the family, tasks from the list, on a daily basis which they have to finish.
Tasks should ideally be rotated so that no one feels his or her's is a tough one.
This way all will appreciate what the other one has to undergo while doing each of those tasks. There will be respect for each other.
Work will get done when there's such strict rule in place.
Mom will get some time to herself and will not be taken advantage of.
All will become experts in all tasks very soon, as practice makes one perfect :D
Most times women crib that their men don't help them out. If the woman can say what tasks the men or other members in the family can do to help her, she can have free time and enjoy her liesure. She has to express this loudly and clearly and not just think they will realise on their own and come to help her out. We will be sadly mistaken if we think help will come without asking.
One caution though, is to allow others to learn to do tasks and never to offer assistance while they are doing it, never to step in to do it, if that member fails to do it. She must gently remind and insist that this member does that task unless he or she is too sick or unable to, due to some reason.
Division of labor means more free time for all, no confusion, no presumption that she or he will do some work on their own. No one likes to volunteer work on one's own. Its all a matter of compulsion for all of us.
Many wait for an excuse to escape responsibilities of this type, so ask them to help you out, anyway.
But be specific which task you want them to help you with, like J has to prepare the evening tea and serve it with snacks, M has to prepare the breakfast for all in the mornings, N has to put the clothes in the washer and fold the dry and washed ones, etc.
Simple rules to follow:
Identify the task.
Identify the person for the task.
Identify the time of the day for performing the task, eg., breakfast cannot be prepared at 12 noon, for instance.
Bring as much clarity, regularity and follow ups in the task allocations, as possible.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
These are some of the common refrains we hear across homes from most women.
As humans, we all enjoy being left alone and not made to work at something, espcially helping around house! A single person, especially the woman of the house, cannot be expected to do all the work but this is true. 80% of the work is done by 20% members while 80% escape work and enjoy liesure at home.
But the woman of the house can get around with a simple solution to this problem.
She has to take a lead in listing out all important tasks.
Segregate tasks into outdoors and indoors.
Strictly allocate all members of the family, tasks from the list, on a daily basis which they have to finish.
Tasks should ideally be rotated so that no one feels his or her's is a tough one.
This way all will appreciate what the other one has to undergo while doing each of those tasks. There will be respect for each other.
Work will get done when there's such strict rule in place.
Mom will get some time to herself and will not be taken advantage of.
All will become experts in all tasks very soon, as practice makes one perfect :D
Most times women crib that their men don't help them out. If the woman can say what tasks the men or other members in the family can do to help her, she can have free time and enjoy her liesure. She has to express this loudly and clearly and not just think they will realise on their own and come to help her out. We will be sadly mistaken if we think help will come without asking.
One caution though, is to allow others to learn to do tasks and never to offer assistance while they are doing it, never to step in to do it, if that member fails to do it. She must gently remind and insist that this member does that task unless he or she is too sick or unable to, due to some reason.
Division of labor means more free time for all, no confusion, no presumption that she or he will do some work on their own. No one likes to volunteer work on one's own. Its all a matter of compulsion for all of us.
Many wait for an excuse to escape responsibilities of this type, so ask them to help you out, anyway.
But be specific which task you want them to help you with, like J has to prepare the evening tea and serve it with snacks, M has to prepare the breakfast for all in the mornings, N has to put the clothes in the washer and fold the dry and washed ones, etc.
Simple rules to follow:
Identify the task.
Identify the person for the task.
Identify the time of the day for performing the task, eg., breakfast cannot be prepared at 12 noon, for instance.
Bring as much clarity, regularity and follow ups in the task allocations, as possible.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Parenting
In the course of my work I come across people who complain about caring for babies.
For whatever reasons. Its been over a long period of time I have observed some things about managing babies.
Here are some of my personal views on the subject.
When the system of joint families was in vogue not long back, there was comfort in the feeling that you have someone else also looking out for your baby. A grandparent will keep the baby occupied, take him out for a walk, feed, when you had to concentrate on your share of work. All that seems to have disappeared with nuclear families becoming so popular.
Since the nuclear family consists of the father, mother and the baby, with one of the parent, usually the father out on work, most hours in a day, leaves the mother having to care for the baby all on her own.
The caring part becomes difficult if the baby is irritable, cries a lot, does not eat properly or refuses to sleep on time.
The mother gets tired, both on physical as well as mental level. She cannot rest when the kid eats or rests. She must do her other jobs around house, when the baby is sleeping.
She too becomes irritable and wishes she were not the only one to take care of the baby. At times she will gladly trust her baby with anyone who offers to look after her baby, even if it were for a few hours. She could get that desperate and many will blame her for being so careless about the safety of the baby.
Her husband comes home equally tired from office or work. Has time to relax before the TV or sits at the computer, eat, (comment, if the food is not ok!), go to sleep. Understandable. But the woman's condition is never understood in a compassionate way.
This is where the girl's parents come in handy. They not only take care of the baby but leave the couple to have some time with each other. But again there are men who dislike their in-laws staying with them for many reasons, little realising that the wife who stays home is perhaps over-worked than him at office! Its still a man's world.
If the woman is working, then God save the kid and the couple, if there is no help available. It's a life of tension all the way.
I have come across women who have refused to go back to their husbands when they have had deliveries and had demands on their time and emotions from over-bearing husbands besides looking after the baby. Caring for babies is not about following rules and regulations written in books. Emotional stress builds up over a period of time but we all somehow seem to go through it.
When a mother looks at the baby's smiling face, her day is made. It cheers her on to care for her child against all odds. Wonder what single parents without anyone to help, go through emotionally. It could be very difficult indeed.
Mahalakshmi.
For whatever reasons. Its been over a long period of time I have observed some things about managing babies.
Here are some of my personal views on the subject.
When the system of joint families was in vogue not long back, there was comfort in the feeling that you have someone else also looking out for your baby. A grandparent will keep the baby occupied, take him out for a walk, feed, when you had to concentrate on your share of work. All that seems to have disappeared with nuclear families becoming so popular.
Since the nuclear family consists of the father, mother and the baby, with one of the parent, usually the father out on work, most hours in a day, leaves the mother having to care for the baby all on her own.
The caring part becomes difficult if the baby is irritable, cries a lot, does not eat properly or refuses to sleep on time.
The mother gets tired, both on physical as well as mental level. She cannot rest when the kid eats or rests. She must do her other jobs around house, when the baby is sleeping.
She too becomes irritable and wishes she were not the only one to take care of the baby. At times she will gladly trust her baby with anyone who offers to look after her baby, even if it were for a few hours. She could get that desperate and many will blame her for being so careless about the safety of the baby.
Her husband comes home equally tired from office or work. Has time to relax before the TV or sits at the computer, eat, (comment, if the food is not ok!), go to sleep. Understandable. But the woman's condition is never understood in a compassionate way.
This is where the girl's parents come in handy. They not only take care of the baby but leave the couple to have some time with each other. But again there are men who dislike their in-laws staying with them for many reasons, little realising that the wife who stays home is perhaps over-worked than him at office! Its still a man's world.
If the woman is working, then God save the kid and the couple, if there is no help available. It's a life of tension all the way.
I have come across women who have refused to go back to their husbands when they have had deliveries and had demands on their time and emotions from over-bearing husbands besides looking after the baby. Caring for babies is not about following rules and regulations written in books. Emotional stress builds up over a period of time but we all somehow seem to go through it.
When a mother looks at the baby's smiling face, her day is made. It cheers her on to care for her child against all odds. Wonder what single parents without anyone to help, go through emotionally. It could be very difficult indeed.
Mahalakshmi.
Divine Community Food
I have watched some videos often yet they have kept me absorbed and glued on repeated watching. Long after the video is over, my mind dwells on issues relating to the subject.
I am a foodie. I love anything related to vegetarian food.
Ingredients, preparation, machinery, manual processes, taste, serving, packing, preserving, etc.
When I get free time or on a leisurely Sunday, like today, I watch videos of the mass roti making, plate-washing, serving, cleaning, etc., at the Golden Temple, Amritsar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbhmGkFvCBc&NR=1
This video is all about mechanically making rotis. 1600 rotis per hour.
There are other videos which show men cooking the daal/lentils with long stirrers and volunteers fetching buckets of daal or water and serving the hungry, who sit in a row.
It brings tears. Such a beautiful way of bonding with other humans through a simple act of sharing food, the community way. All are volunteers. Anyone can volunteer any work here, for as long as one likes.
I have not been there, yet my mind is there. Previously I used to read and imagine the scene of action. Thanks to youtube and to the videographers who share these, it is possible to actually see it in action.
I have a dream. A community kitchen which prepares only one item. A soup. This soup will have vegetables, lentils, some rice to thicken it with, salt, pepper, maybe some herbs to give it a nice aroma. To be distributed to the old and infirm who cannot prepare it themselves due to health constraints or those who do not have the luxury of a kitchen. Since it's more of a gruel, the elderly can enjoy this wholesome, nutritious meal, which will deliver some minerals through vegetables, some protein through lentils, some carbohydrates through the rice, besides salt, pepper and herbs which should enhance the taste. A gruel need not be bland. Not a bad idea at all for a social cause.
I pray to God to make my dream come true, someday, somewhere.
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi.
I am a foodie. I love anything related to vegetarian food.
Ingredients, preparation, machinery, manual processes, taste, serving, packing, preserving, etc.
When I get free time or on a leisurely Sunday, like today, I watch videos of the mass roti making, plate-washing, serving, cleaning, etc., at the Golden Temple, Amritsar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbhmGkFvCBc&NR=1
This video is all about mechanically making rotis. 1600 rotis per hour.
There are other videos which show men cooking the daal/lentils with long stirrers and volunteers fetching buckets of daal or water and serving the hungry, who sit in a row.
It brings tears. Such a beautiful way of bonding with other humans through a simple act of sharing food, the community way. All are volunteers. Anyone can volunteer any work here, for as long as one likes.
I have not been there, yet my mind is there. Previously I used to read and imagine the scene of action. Thanks to youtube and to the videographers who share these, it is possible to actually see it in action.
I have a dream. A community kitchen which prepares only one item. A soup. This soup will have vegetables, lentils, some rice to thicken it with, salt, pepper, maybe some herbs to give it a nice aroma. To be distributed to the old and infirm who cannot prepare it themselves due to health constraints or those who do not have the luxury of a kitchen. Since it's more of a gruel, the elderly can enjoy this wholesome, nutritious meal, which will deliver some minerals through vegetables, some protein through lentils, some carbohydrates through the rice, besides salt, pepper and herbs which should enhance the taste. A gruel need not be bland. Not a bad idea at all for a social cause.
I pray to God to make my dream come true, someday, somewhere.
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
New Hope and Encouragement
The last post was about the struggle to get through the Tamil language exam for my son.
He got through it and was very relieved that he would not have to face that teacher ever again.
We were sure about his getting accepted for French language. But the Principal din't think our son would manage French that well and asked us to continue him with Tamil or some other language. Our hearts sank. Though they gave permission for my other son to opt for French, for this son, they were reluctant. As usual, I wrote a letter requesting but it din't work.
The boys were segregated according to the language they opted for. My son was so crest-fallen that he began to sound desperate and promised that he would score high marks if he were allowed to prove himself. That is when I decided to meet the principal personally and convince somehow. Initially he would not listen to it at all. He showed me my son's marks in English (he would score an average of 76 or 77%) this was not good enough to learn French was the reply!!
I then kept assuring him that I would personally see to his performing well in French. The principal gave in finally. I was very happy and had high hopes for my son.
He went on to study French with such a passion and both sons scored similar high marks in French. The chance given was encouragement itself and my son proved me right after all.
What if he were denied that opportunity? He would have been discouraged for life. These matters are decided so arbitrarily by people sitting in high posts.
I am happy I stood ground and got him the option to study French.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
He got through it and was very relieved that he would not have to face that teacher ever again.
We were sure about his getting accepted for French language. But the Principal din't think our son would manage French that well and asked us to continue him with Tamil or some other language. Our hearts sank. Though they gave permission for my other son to opt for French, for this son, they were reluctant. As usual, I wrote a letter requesting but it din't work.
The boys were segregated according to the language they opted for. My son was so crest-fallen that he began to sound desperate and promised that he would score high marks if he were allowed to prove himself. That is when I decided to meet the principal personally and convince somehow. Initially he would not listen to it at all. He showed me my son's marks in English (he would score an average of 76 or 77%) this was not good enough to learn French was the reply!!
I then kept assuring him that I would personally see to his performing well in French. The principal gave in finally. I was very happy and had high hopes for my son.
He went on to study French with such a passion and both sons scored similar high marks in French. The chance given was encouragement itself and my son proved me right after all.
What if he were denied that opportunity? He would have been discouraged for life. These matters are decided so arbitrarily by people sitting in high posts.
I am happy I stood ground and got him the option to study French.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi.
Monday, November 22, 2010
The Tamil Teacher's Punishment
The boys were 10 year olds and studying in 5th class. It was compulsory to take Tamil as one of the languages besides Hindi and English in school.
The Tamil teacher was not popular in that school. She had her young son studying in the same school and she would be concerned about him all the time. Like looking out for him during class hours. Her concentration was mainly on her son.
In this scenario, she would pay scant attention to her students in class.
Once she took the workbooks of all students to correct them. She did not return back the workbook of 3 students. Her son must have torn it and here she would be covering with some story of the boys not submitting their workbook at all for correction or she would reply that she had given it to them after correcting the same. Since the school was strict, the students were made to rewrite the entire workbook and re-submit to pass.
This was done by the students' parents pitching in to write the workbook for their wards.
The next time too the same thing happened. She lost a few workbooks of some students. One among them was my son. The school was quite strict about submitting books on time for corrections so we rushed through rewriting all the lessons and questions and answers. But there was an inspection at school and our boy got caught without his workbook. His teacher instead of telling the truth, pinched my son's ears so sharply with her big nails, that he bled from the nail injury behind the ear.
He had fever the next day. The doctor gave him injections as it turned into a full blown infection. It healed later, though.
We din't have the nerve to complain at that time. We were afraid of complaining. We wanted safety for our son during that year of schooling. The next academic year, our son could opt for another language. He was interested in taking up French over other regional Indian languages. We wanted peace to prevail at any cost. Accusations, fights, questionings and counter-questioning will harm the student more than help him get justice. The trauma of going through all this while having to face the teacher in his class everyday made us just accept all this as bad karma for all of us and get on with finishing mid-school successfully.
The teacher never knew we were monitoring her every move towards our son. We took special care in Tamil until he was declared pass in the subject. He opted for French and shone through scoring top marks in that language. He was so relieved and happy from that time onwards.
We consoled that we had to go through the trauma but had the wisdom not to make a public issue and spoil the atmosphere for our son, his Tamil teacher, for us and for the school management. We have spared two parties from going through what we ourselves went through. This is a peaceful way of dealing with a problem. Many may disagree with this method, yet the problem ended with us.
We did not agitate it into something big and land our son and ourselves into bigger worries to take on. Finally it died a peaceful death. But these memories, one among the many which are a mix of good or bad, remains with us.
Mahalakshmi.
The Tamil teacher was not popular in that school. She had her young son studying in the same school and she would be concerned about him all the time. Like looking out for him during class hours. Her concentration was mainly on her son.
In this scenario, she would pay scant attention to her students in class.
Once she took the workbooks of all students to correct them. She did not return back the workbook of 3 students. Her son must have torn it and here she would be covering with some story of the boys not submitting their workbook at all for correction or she would reply that she had given it to them after correcting the same. Since the school was strict, the students were made to rewrite the entire workbook and re-submit to pass.
This was done by the students' parents pitching in to write the workbook for their wards.
The next time too the same thing happened. She lost a few workbooks of some students. One among them was my son. The school was quite strict about submitting books on time for corrections so we rushed through rewriting all the lessons and questions and answers. But there was an inspection at school and our boy got caught without his workbook. His teacher instead of telling the truth, pinched my son's ears so sharply with her big nails, that he bled from the nail injury behind the ear.
He had fever the next day. The doctor gave him injections as it turned into a full blown infection. It healed later, though.
We din't have the nerve to complain at that time. We were afraid of complaining. We wanted safety for our son during that year of schooling. The next academic year, our son could opt for another language. He was interested in taking up French over other regional Indian languages. We wanted peace to prevail at any cost. Accusations, fights, questionings and counter-questioning will harm the student more than help him get justice. The trauma of going through all this while having to face the teacher in his class everyday made us just accept all this as bad karma for all of us and get on with finishing mid-school successfully.
The teacher never knew we were monitoring her every move towards our son. We took special care in Tamil until he was declared pass in the subject. He opted for French and shone through scoring top marks in that language. He was so relieved and happy from that time onwards.
We consoled that we had to go through the trauma but had the wisdom not to make a public issue and spoil the atmosphere for our son, his Tamil teacher, for us and for the school management. We have spared two parties from going through what we ourselves went through. This is a peaceful way of dealing with a problem. Many may disagree with this method, yet the problem ended with us.
We did not agitate it into something big and land our son and ourselves into bigger worries to take on. Finally it died a peaceful death. But these memories, one among the many which are a mix of good or bad, remains with us.
Mahalakshmi.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Medical Lab and Tests
This episode took place 18 years back.
I had been for a medical check-up in a well known city hospital in Chennai.
The doctor who checked was the chairman of the hospital.
He knew I had qualifications to suit a post in his hospital at that time and I was also in search of a job.
He directed me to meet his wife, who was the Managing Director.
I met her and landed a job of manager, who will assist her in running day-to-day affairs which meant I attended all the meetings and followed up on them.
Just a week into my job, I got the shock of my life.
At a meeting of all doctors, both senior and junior, she went through all the accounts. Then asked all doctors present, why they were not writing enough tests for their patients!
The lab, though opened an year ago, did not show healthy income generation!!
She then asked all of them to write some tests at least, to tide over this situation. She wanted to see recovery of capital invested on purchase of costly laboratory equipments for her hospital.
I left the job a little later, but with very heavy feelings about the running of all hospitals. Whether the patient needs a test of not, it is prescribed just to keep their home-labs generate incomes. It is treated more as a profit centre than dedicated to better diagnosis of a disease. The patient loses hope of good medical care. The doctor prescribing tests, loses his reputation. But the income pours for the hospital management.
I became cautious after that experience. Whenever tests would be written for me or any family member I would question the doctor gently about the tests he recommends.
Despite this, I got trapped into shelling out Rs.23,000/- last year, just for a battery of tests (MRI, sugar, etc) to rule out sugar complaint and to find out why there's constant pain in the neck area just above my right hand shoulder.
Though I kept pointing out the spots near the neck and below the right ear, the doctor wrote out spinal and shoulder MRIs for me in such bad handwriting that only the staff at the lab could understand!! When they ask us to deposit the charges in advance, we feel an additional pain near our heart area or maybe that is what an induced heart attack is all about!!! A nerve pain below the ear can have connection to my entire spine was what I learnt but this lesson cost me a lot.
The pain has not gone even now, but a huge chunk of my money is gone :D
This type of lab test charges are not reimbursible by any insurance company either, unless one gets admitted into a hospital for emergency treatment, etc. and goes through these tests recommended by the hospital doctor.
Though I have a medical policy (which we keep alive and kicking every year), we never get reimbursements for many medical bills which is another story altogether. But can we afford to remain without some kind of medical insurance cover? That is impossible, so we try not to fall sick yet pay for all these insurance policies and lab tests just to comfort ourselves that all is well with our organs from time to time :D
Mahalakshmi.
I had been for a medical check-up in a well known city hospital in Chennai.
The doctor who checked was the chairman of the hospital.
He knew I had qualifications to suit a post in his hospital at that time and I was also in search of a job.
He directed me to meet his wife, who was the Managing Director.
I met her and landed a job of manager, who will assist her in running day-to-day affairs which meant I attended all the meetings and followed up on them.
Just a week into my job, I got the shock of my life.
At a meeting of all doctors, both senior and junior, she went through all the accounts. Then asked all doctors present, why they were not writing enough tests for their patients!
The lab, though opened an year ago, did not show healthy income generation!!
She then asked all of them to write some tests at least, to tide over this situation. She wanted to see recovery of capital invested on purchase of costly laboratory equipments for her hospital.
I left the job a little later, but with very heavy feelings about the running of all hospitals. Whether the patient needs a test of not, it is prescribed just to keep their home-labs generate incomes. It is treated more as a profit centre than dedicated to better diagnosis of a disease. The patient loses hope of good medical care. The doctor prescribing tests, loses his reputation. But the income pours for the hospital management.
I became cautious after that experience. Whenever tests would be written for me or any family member I would question the doctor gently about the tests he recommends.
Despite this, I got trapped into shelling out Rs.23,000/- last year, just for a battery of tests (MRI, sugar, etc) to rule out sugar complaint and to find out why there's constant pain in the neck area just above my right hand shoulder.
Though I kept pointing out the spots near the neck and below the right ear, the doctor wrote out spinal and shoulder MRIs for me in such bad handwriting that only the staff at the lab could understand!! When they ask us to deposit the charges in advance, we feel an additional pain near our heart area or maybe that is what an induced heart attack is all about!!! A nerve pain below the ear can have connection to my entire spine was what I learnt but this lesson cost me a lot.
The pain has not gone even now, but a huge chunk of my money is gone :D
This type of lab test charges are not reimbursible by any insurance company either, unless one gets admitted into a hospital for emergency treatment, etc. and goes through these tests recommended by the hospital doctor.
Though I have a medical policy (which we keep alive and kicking every year), we never get reimbursements for many medical bills which is another story altogether. But can we afford to remain without some kind of medical insurance cover? That is impossible, so we try not to fall sick yet pay for all these insurance policies and lab tests just to comfort ourselves that all is well with our organs from time to time :D
Mahalakshmi.
Hospital Routines
Its an yearly ritual to have my mother admitted into a hospital for some complaint or the other for a few days and then we come back home. She is 84 now.
Each time I find a disturbing trend in the name of routine check up of patients by the nurses.
The patient is checked for BP and temperature. Every 3 to 4 hours is understandable. But checking every hour means disturbing the patient and the attendant. I can understand if the patient were admitted in the ICU (intensive care unit) for some emergency and needs to be monitored every hour.
Most often, the patient falls asleep nicely and she or he is woken up from deep sleep to record the BP and temperature every hour. I find this funny. Maybe the hospitals want to justify their charges, so this is done very regularly and promptly, besides so many tests whether they are useful for diognizing the problem or not. Scans, MRIs, blood tests, X-rays all fall under this category. Tests have become a racket and forms the major portion of any hospital bill.
The doctors' visits are far and few in-between and even if he does visit, it is not more than 5 minutes he spends with each patient. Does not even bother to listen to what the patient wants to convey. Doctors are impatient and try to walk towards the next patient as if in some great hurry.
Last year I felt it was a sheer torture to keep waking my mother up every hour for this. She said she wanted to go home and sleep undisturbed and get some real rest. In 24 hours there were 24 jottings made. Its terrible at nights to disturb a patient who is resting well with all medicines taken for the night.
We know the body rests during sleep to heal itself in many ways. We need that rest. We need no one to disturb us from a good night's sleep even if one is admitted into a hospital for treatment.
Mahalakshmi.
Each time I find a disturbing trend in the name of routine check up of patients by the nurses.
The patient is checked for BP and temperature. Every 3 to 4 hours is understandable. But checking every hour means disturbing the patient and the attendant. I can understand if the patient were admitted in the ICU (intensive care unit) for some emergency and needs to be monitored every hour.
Most often, the patient falls asleep nicely and she or he is woken up from deep sleep to record the BP and temperature every hour. I find this funny. Maybe the hospitals want to justify their charges, so this is done very regularly and promptly, besides so many tests whether they are useful for diognizing the problem or not. Scans, MRIs, blood tests, X-rays all fall under this category. Tests have become a racket and forms the major portion of any hospital bill.
The doctors' visits are far and few in-between and even if he does visit, it is not more than 5 minutes he spends with each patient. Does not even bother to listen to what the patient wants to convey. Doctors are impatient and try to walk towards the next patient as if in some great hurry.
Last year I felt it was a sheer torture to keep waking my mother up every hour for this. She said she wanted to go home and sleep undisturbed and get some real rest. In 24 hours there were 24 jottings made. Its terrible at nights to disturb a patient who is resting well with all medicines taken for the night.
We know the body rests during sleep to heal itself in many ways. We need that rest. We need no one to disturb us from a good night's sleep even if one is admitted into a hospital for treatment.
Mahalakshmi.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Vulture, A Patient Bird ..2
Remember the Tataguni estate in Bangalore where Devika Rani with her Russian artist husband spent their last years. They had eager caretakers - a couple who just came into their lives and had managed to sell chunks of precious land on the fringes of the large estate, years later by some fraudulant means.
The care-givers are very choosy, it would appear! They like to pick only the very rich or the famous for bestowing their attention upon. First they give care for a salary payment and then the servant gains absolute control over the master!!
Rich or poor, all humans need some kind of care and attention, especially when they are aging and sick. Most often many elderls are neglected by their own kith and kin. Outsiders step in and keep the insiders out after sometime. Then it becomes too late to save the elders in their family alongwith the family wealth.
Such is the human psyche. The rich attract the greedy. The greedy never latch upon their own family elders, should these elders be poor.
If we have something then people latch on to us, otherwise we can lead a fairly peaceful life without having somebody breathe down our neck to be at our beck and call. But all this only until one is healthy and moves about on his or her own.
May God give us good health and may we have the strength to be active until our very last breath.
Mahalakshmi.
The care-givers are very choosy, it would appear! They like to pick only the very rich or the famous for bestowing their attention upon. First they give care for a salary payment and then the servant gains absolute control over the master!!
Rich or poor, all humans need some kind of care and attention, especially when they are aging and sick. Most often many elderls are neglected by their own kith and kin. Outsiders step in and keep the insiders out after sometime. Then it becomes too late to save the elders in their family alongwith the family wealth.
Such is the human psyche. The rich attract the greedy. The greedy never latch upon their own family elders, should these elders be poor.
If we have something then people latch on to us, otherwise we can lead a fairly peaceful life without having somebody breathe down our neck to be at our beck and call. But all this only until one is healthy and moves about on his or her own.
May God give us good health and may we have the strength to be active until our very last breath.
Mahalakshmi.
Monday, November 15, 2010
The Vulture Is A Very Patient Bird, Indeed!!
Office politics is not a dirty word at all.
It is part and parcel of our work culture in all offices across the globe.
I have observed from very close quarters how the juniors try to impress their supervisors, managers and the top guys at workplace.
This is something universal whether with office or with politics!
I always wonder whether quality work, creativity and hard work did matter as much as the ability to manage people and situations. If a person could combine both then you have a winner in hand.
1.
Take for example the Ex-IT minister, Mr.Raja's rise to the top! According to his mentor he was like any other budding lawyer, struggling to pay even his telephone bills in the rented office, not so long ago. Yet he rose to an enviable position to grant licences for 2G, 3G and what have yous, for an entire nation like India!
His people skills played a more important role than his abilities. News is trickling in about his meteoric rise to the top. He is supposed to have taken personal care of the late Murasoli Maran, (2nd in command in the DMK, a political party in Tamil Nadu) being at the beck and call of his star patient without second thoughts. He rose in the party later due to his proximity to the top cadres of the DMK. What an irony of fate that he was chosen to replace Maran's son, Dayanidhi Maran as the IT Minister by the CM Karunanidhi, in due course of time!!
Of course what happened after he became a union minister is not the topic I wish to discuss here.
All I would like to stress is how people make themselves useful to the powerful, at times sacrificing their own comforts and ambitions for the time being. All this, until they hit big time. In each and every case its the patience alongwith perseverance which seems to pay off ultimately. Remember the vulture is a very patient bird, indeed.
I have two more case histories to mention below before I wind up for the day:
2.
Another case is that of how the Late Smt.Priyamvada Birla was charmed by the care, attention and help rendered by the Birla family's chartered accountant, the Late Shri.Lodha who also passed away recently, though as a very rich man indeed.
Lodha used to reserve his entire time and energy to this elderly, childless widow who was ailing for many years. Left to herself, all alone in a palace full of servants and with very rare visits from own family members who lived nearby, she was made very much a part and parcel of Lodha's family. The other family members never came to give her company or enquire after her welfare, but tried to fight this clever man who usurped what belonged to PB which ran into billions of rupees. She willed it to him and this was fiercely contested in the Kolkata High Court between the Birla family and Lodha on the death of PB. Wills, Probates, et al.
3.
I should mention Smt.Lakshmi Parvati, a divorcee, who married the famed, but strict widower who had a very clean image where women were concerned, Shri.N.T.Rama Rao, a popular, evergreen hero of Telugu films and founder of Telugu Desam, a powerful political Party in Andhra Pradesh.
Smt.LP came to do her thesis on NTR's films and life and went on to become his life partner and advisor during his ailing last few years.
NTR is believed to have even mentioned in one of his interviews to a magazine that she cared for him when his family members did not even visit him out of courtesy to see how he was getting along in his old age.
What these families cannot understand is how can their rich and famous family member give away their family wealth to a rank outsider who just takes care of them in their old age or ailment? The belief is that the family wealth should remain within the family even if members don't take care of the needs or attend to these elderly people from within. If care is given from within then where is the need for any outsider to come in? This simple philosphy is never followed.
What is right and who is right? No one can say anything on this. But we can see that its all about money, money and money.
What brings people together? Initially it all begins as sympathy, listening to the woes of the other person. Doing those little things for a person which others might take for granted. A bond is formed due to this whether such actions are genuine or not, the fact is that a human needs another human to interact with. Money involved is secondary to the person who has the money, but it becomes primary for the person who does little things for the moneyed person to get into the inner circle.
Am I being cynical about the whole thing? I have observed this for long enough and know the pattern instantly. At times I do wonder whether the moneyed fellow is ignorant of what's happening? No. (S)he may not be that ignorant but with time they get used to the attention, care, help and affection from any person and later get addicted to it. They throw all caution and all feelings for their own near and dear who don't seem to care anyway, who don't have time for them, otherwise why should these people turn to strangers for help, care, affection and attention?!
Life goes on.
Mahalakshmi.
It is part and parcel of our work culture in all offices across the globe.
I have observed from very close quarters how the juniors try to impress their supervisors, managers and the top guys at workplace.
This is something universal whether with office or with politics!
I always wonder whether quality work, creativity and hard work did matter as much as the ability to manage people and situations. If a person could combine both then you have a winner in hand.
1.
Take for example the Ex-IT minister, Mr.Raja's rise to the top! According to his mentor he was like any other budding lawyer, struggling to pay even his telephone bills in the rented office, not so long ago. Yet he rose to an enviable position to grant licences for 2G, 3G and what have yous, for an entire nation like India!
His people skills played a more important role than his abilities. News is trickling in about his meteoric rise to the top. He is supposed to have taken personal care of the late Murasoli Maran, (2nd in command in the DMK, a political party in Tamil Nadu) being at the beck and call of his star patient without second thoughts. He rose in the party later due to his proximity to the top cadres of the DMK. What an irony of fate that he was chosen to replace Maran's son, Dayanidhi Maran as the IT Minister by the CM Karunanidhi, in due course of time!!
Of course what happened after he became a union minister is not the topic I wish to discuss here.
All I would like to stress is how people make themselves useful to the powerful, at times sacrificing their own comforts and ambitions for the time being. All this, until they hit big time. In each and every case its the patience alongwith perseverance which seems to pay off ultimately. Remember the vulture is a very patient bird, indeed.
I have two more case histories to mention below before I wind up for the day:
2.
Another case is that of how the Late Smt.Priyamvada Birla was charmed by the care, attention and help rendered by the Birla family's chartered accountant, the Late Shri.Lodha who also passed away recently, though as a very rich man indeed.
Lodha used to reserve his entire time and energy to this elderly, childless widow who was ailing for many years. Left to herself, all alone in a palace full of servants and with very rare visits from own family members who lived nearby, she was made very much a part and parcel of Lodha's family. The other family members never came to give her company or enquire after her welfare, but tried to fight this clever man who usurped what belonged to PB which ran into billions of rupees. She willed it to him and this was fiercely contested in the Kolkata High Court between the Birla family and Lodha on the death of PB. Wills, Probates, et al.
3.
I should mention Smt.Lakshmi Parvati, a divorcee, who married the famed, but strict widower who had a very clean image where women were concerned, Shri.N.T.Rama Rao, a popular, evergreen hero of Telugu films and founder of Telugu Desam, a powerful political Party in Andhra Pradesh.
Smt.LP came to do her thesis on NTR's films and life and went on to become his life partner and advisor during his ailing last few years.
NTR is believed to have even mentioned in one of his interviews to a magazine that she cared for him when his family members did not even visit him out of courtesy to see how he was getting along in his old age.
What these families cannot understand is how can their rich and famous family member give away their family wealth to a rank outsider who just takes care of them in their old age or ailment? The belief is that the family wealth should remain within the family even if members don't take care of the needs or attend to these elderly people from within. If care is given from within then where is the need for any outsider to come in? This simple philosphy is never followed.
What is right and who is right? No one can say anything on this. But we can see that its all about money, money and money.
What brings people together? Initially it all begins as sympathy, listening to the woes of the other person. Doing those little things for a person which others might take for granted. A bond is formed due to this whether such actions are genuine or not, the fact is that a human needs another human to interact with. Money involved is secondary to the person who has the money, but it becomes primary for the person who does little things for the moneyed person to get into the inner circle.
Am I being cynical about the whole thing? I have observed this for long enough and know the pattern instantly. At times I do wonder whether the moneyed fellow is ignorant of what's happening? No. (S)he may not be that ignorant but with time they get used to the attention, care, help and affection from any person and later get addicted to it. They throw all caution and all feelings for their own near and dear who don't seem to care anyway, who don't have time for them, otherwise why should these people turn to strangers for help, care, affection and attention?!
Life goes on.
Mahalakshmi.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
My Mother And Her Dear Friend Champa
My mother had a friend called Champa. They were classmates in the Keyes Girls' High School and studied together till the 1940s when they were in their teens.
Champa was a Tamil Iyengar girl(a category among Brahmins, like Iyers). She was the only daughter of very rich parents, who could afford to buy Tamil magazines like the Ananda Vikatan, Kumudam, Kalki, Tamil novels. etc., every week for their daugther.
My mother used to visit Champa's house often during the day as they used to stay very close by. They would study together, chat together, do things together. When her mother called out to Champa discreetly, to have her share of tiffin or snacks, this girl would loudly ask her mother to get it to her and she would share it with my mother.
Whenever, those Tamil weeklies and fortnightlies would arrive, Champa's mother would hide them away from my mother's sight. She obviously din't like my mother reading their magazine copies freely. Champa would have no such feelings. She would go, search out those new magazines and give it to my mother, to take them home to read, against her mother's wishes.
My mother would simply love Champa for all this and more. Champa was a kindly soul. As soon as they passed their Matriculation exams (incidentally, my mother was the state topper in Tamil and a bright student), Champa was married off to an Iyengar boy. Soon my mother too got married. Being in the same city, they met on and off and bonded closely.
Champa had one son and a daughter. My mother had 4 daughters. Champa soon developed health problems and died of cancer, soon after while still in her mid 30s. My mother was inconsolable and too shocked. She would cry often thinking of her friend, Champa.
Even years after Champa's death, my mother remembers her till this day.
Why did my mother like Champa so much?
Champa was caring and she shared her books with my mother freely without rancour. Perhaps she knew her clock was ticking away too fast. She spread her warmth around despite her mother not liking it.
Deliberately hidden Tamil magazines were searched frantically only to be given away to my mother so that she could read them and return them back quickly. My mother must have formed the habit of reading books very quickly due to this.
Perhaps these gestures left a deep impression on my mother's mind because even now, she likes to borrow books from the library and read, even though we can afford all those magazines and many more, but she would never agree.
Champa's memories live in my mother's heart long after she is gone.
Long live such pure friendships.
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi.
Champa was a Tamil Iyengar girl(a category among Brahmins, like Iyers). She was the only daughter of very rich parents, who could afford to buy Tamil magazines like the Ananda Vikatan, Kumudam, Kalki, Tamil novels. etc., every week for their daugther.
My mother used to visit Champa's house often during the day as they used to stay very close by. They would study together, chat together, do things together. When her mother called out to Champa discreetly, to have her share of tiffin or snacks, this girl would loudly ask her mother to get it to her and she would share it with my mother.
Whenever, those Tamil weeklies and fortnightlies would arrive, Champa's mother would hide them away from my mother's sight. She obviously din't like my mother reading their magazine copies freely. Champa would have no such feelings. She would go, search out those new magazines and give it to my mother, to take them home to read, against her mother's wishes.
My mother would simply love Champa for all this and more. Champa was a kindly soul. As soon as they passed their Matriculation exams (incidentally, my mother was the state topper in Tamil and a bright student), Champa was married off to an Iyengar boy. Soon my mother too got married. Being in the same city, they met on and off and bonded closely.
Champa had one son and a daughter. My mother had 4 daughters. Champa soon developed health problems and died of cancer, soon after while still in her mid 30s. My mother was inconsolable and too shocked. She would cry often thinking of her friend, Champa.
Even years after Champa's death, my mother remembers her till this day.
Why did my mother like Champa so much?
Champa was caring and she shared her books with my mother freely without rancour. Perhaps she knew her clock was ticking away too fast. She spread her warmth around despite her mother not liking it.
Deliberately hidden Tamil magazines were searched frantically only to be given away to my mother so that she could read them and return them back quickly. My mother must have formed the habit of reading books very quickly due to this.
Perhaps these gestures left a deep impression on my mother's mind because even now, she likes to borrow books from the library and read, even though we can afford all those magazines and many more, but she would never agree.
Champa's memories live in my mother's heart long after she is gone.
Long live such pure friendships.
Cheers.
Mahalakshmi.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Shouting And Cajoling At The Same Time!
This episode took place in the year 1972 when I had joined college.
There were many streams so as many students in each stream. It was an all girls' college with a strength of about 2000.
I would always walk off with the first prize for singing in college. So I was a familiar with the girls and the lecturers. I used to sing many songs but ‘Bole Re Papeeharaa’ from Guddi was a crowd puller with the audience chanting 'once more'.
In the 2nd year any student could take part in the union elections. I watched from afar how the rich and famous girls got together to fight out the posts of president, secretary, treasurer, office bearers, etc. They formed groups and divided the posts amongst themselves and were spending such huge amounts on fancy, colorful, big-sized banners and posters to announce themselves. They also went around the college premises in an open jeep with speakers. The fever had caught on. There were new entrants in the fray in a matter of days.
We sisters would always share news of college events and things. My elder sister told me that I could also stand for the President's post and take a chance, if I wished. I was shocked at the suggestion but with time, I got used to the idea. Before the deadline I filed my application for the President's post as nothing less would do for me!
I had to make myself visible to net those precious votes from all the students. I did not have much money to spend on those grand advertisements, banners, screen-printed posters, jeep tours, etc. My sister asked me to make some posters on my own and canvas for myself in all the classes just before the class hour started.
So my humble posters were stuck here and there. There were objections from some girls about me competing against them for the post. Some girls openly told me I stood no chance at all and ordered me to withdraw from the contest. All this made me more determined to fight it out, whether I was a winner or a loser.
I would go early in the mornings. Classes would begin at 9.15am so I would start doing the rounds of as many classrooms as I could from 9am. I would briefly introduce myself with my name and ask them to tick my name for the post of the President. I would also tell them not to tick any other name as that would be treated as an invalid vote. I would quickly move from class to class to announce myself. Many would laugh at me. This went on for about a week.
Then just a day before the election date, all the candidates were to go on stage, talk for 5 minutes about themselves, before an audience of about 2000 girls and then the campaigning would have to be stopped as that was the last day one could canvas for votes.
My name was called out. I went up on the stage. Stood before the mike and was about to begin my prepared speech of, "Good evening everybody..." But a section of girls who were opposing me, would boo me each time I uttered one sentence. This went on thrice and the crowd got restless and everyone seemed to be having fun at my expense. My principal got up and asked the girls to keep quiet but it had no effect on the wild crowd. It was my turn to get wild with anger and I used my entire lung power to shout through the mike, "Shut up" so loudly that the noisy, fully packed hall fell absolutely silent! Then I quickly grabbed the opportunity to modulate my voice to a calmer tone and just continued to introduce myself as if nothing took place moments ago!! The crowd listened to me in silence. I could not make out anything of their silence, neither did I care much, once I was done with my speech.
The election day arrived. I cast my vote so did many girls. Counting of votes began the next day. I was there watching as the vote count against our names began appearing on the black board. If one was to win she had to get 1001 votes but that seemed doubtful as there were 4 contestants for the president's post. So the votes would get divided. Midway through, my senses got numb as I saw the numbers increasing rapidly against my name on the board. At one stage it had surpassed the magic number of majority. I knew I had won hands down with the maximum votes ever. When the counting would be through, our principal would announce the successful candidates. I was mentally and physically drained by then, not waiting for the official announcement and left the venue knowing full well that I had won.
I came home and told my sisters of the good news. Those were such happy moments. I learnt that simple strategies work better than complicated and costly ones. My opponents had spent in thousands while I could hardly afford Rs.100 for the posters and the color sketch pens. All posters were hand written by me, in phrases like, 'east or west rama is best' etc.
I laugh to myself at the loud ‘shut up’ one minute and the humble and sweet voiced ‘Good evening everybody…’!
Being the President of the Students' Union in a college did change my life forever in many ways. I got closer to the lecturers and the principal. Would organize events. Would get an opportunity to read out the Presidentail address at every college 'do'. Above all, I enjoyed the power which came with it. The recognition wherever I went around college. These were some of the highs I experienced at a young age of 18 or 19.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
There were many streams so as many students in each stream. It was an all girls' college with a strength of about 2000.
I would always walk off with the first prize for singing in college. So I was a familiar with the girls and the lecturers. I used to sing many songs but ‘Bole Re Papeeharaa’ from Guddi was a crowd puller with the audience chanting 'once more'.
In the 2nd year any student could take part in the union elections. I watched from afar how the rich and famous girls got together to fight out the posts of president, secretary, treasurer, office bearers, etc. They formed groups and divided the posts amongst themselves and were spending such huge amounts on fancy, colorful, big-sized banners and posters to announce themselves. They also went around the college premises in an open jeep with speakers. The fever had caught on. There were new entrants in the fray in a matter of days.
We sisters would always share news of college events and things. My elder sister told me that I could also stand for the President's post and take a chance, if I wished. I was shocked at the suggestion but with time, I got used to the idea. Before the deadline I filed my application for the President's post as nothing less would do for me!
I had to make myself visible to net those precious votes from all the students. I did not have much money to spend on those grand advertisements, banners, screen-printed posters, jeep tours, etc. My sister asked me to make some posters on my own and canvas for myself in all the classes just before the class hour started.
So my humble posters were stuck here and there. There were objections from some girls about me competing against them for the post. Some girls openly told me I stood no chance at all and ordered me to withdraw from the contest. All this made me more determined to fight it out, whether I was a winner or a loser.
I would go early in the mornings. Classes would begin at 9.15am so I would start doing the rounds of as many classrooms as I could from 9am. I would briefly introduce myself with my name and ask them to tick my name for the post of the President. I would also tell them not to tick any other name as that would be treated as an invalid vote. I would quickly move from class to class to announce myself. Many would laugh at me. This went on for about a week.
Then just a day before the election date, all the candidates were to go on stage, talk for 5 minutes about themselves, before an audience of about 2000 girls and then the campaigning would have to be stopped as that was the last day one could canvas for votes.
My name was called out. I went up on the stage. Stood before the mike and was about to begin my prepared speech of, "Good evening everybody..." But a section of girls who were opposing me, would boo me each time I uttered one sentence. This went on thrice and the crowd got restless and everyone seemed to be having fun at my expense. My principal got up and asked the girls to keep quiet but it had no effect on the wild crowd. It was my turn to get wild with anger and I used my entire lung power to shout through the mike, "Shut up" so loudly that the noisy, fully packed hall fell absolutely silent! Then I quickly grabbed the opportunity to modulate my voice to a calmer tone and just continued to introduce myself as if nothing took place moments ago!! The crowd listened to me in silence. I could not make out anything of their silence, neither did I care much, once I was done with my speech.
The election day arrived. I cast my vote so did many girls. Counting of votes began the next day. I was there watching as the vote count against our names began appearing on the black board. If one was to win she had to get 1001 votes but that seemed doubtful as there were 4 contestants for the president's post. So the votes would get divided. Midway through, my senses got numb as I saw the numbers increasing rapidly against my name on the board. At one stage it had surpassed the magic number of majority. I knew I had won hands down with the maximum votes ever. When the counting would be through, our principal would announce the successful candidates. I was mentally and physically drained by then, not waiting for the official announcement and left the venue knowing full well that I had won.
I came home and told my sisters of the good news. Those were such happy moments. I learnt that simple strategies work better than complicated and costly ones. My opponents had spent in thousands while I could hardly afford Rs.100 for the posters and the color sketch pens. All posters were hand written by me, in phrases like, 'east or west rama is best' etc.
I laugh to myself at the loud ‘shut up’ one minute and the humble and sweet voiced ‘Good evening everybody…’!
Being the President of the Students' Union in a college did change my life forever in many ways. I got closer to the lecturers and the principal. Would organize events. Would get an opportunity to read out the Presidentail address at every college 'do'. Above all, I enjoyed the power which came with it. The recognition wherever I went around college. These were some of the highs I experienced at a young age of 18 or 19.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Rural Wisdom
My husband's family had a large house at Chennai till about 2003. with 7 mango trees, 11 coconut trees, 2 of sapota, 3 jackfruit, 2 guava, 1 badam, 1 lime and a host of flower plants and creepers. It was a garden which was always blooming with something or the other everyday.
Each tree would be of a different variety. Like the 7 mango trees bore 7 different varieties of mangoes. Each would have a different seasonal flowering pattern. So there would be mangoes from one tree or the other through the year at home. Some would bear fruits in 1000s and some very rarely and that too only under a dozen like the malgoa variety.
Since our backyard was always evergreen with fruits, raw and ripe, all round the year, there were visitors like the squirrels, crows, insects, birds - all of them getting to taste them first! At first I would wonder when was the best time to harvest the fruits straight from the trees instead of picking dropped ones. It was difficult to guess as the outer color of the skin would have barely changed. It could as well be raw inside and not yet ripe! But my husband would know. He told me to observe. What I found was whenever the fruits were ripe enough, squirrels and crows would start pecking at them. They would never touch a raw mango, jackfruit or guava. When they pecked at it a few times, the stem would give way and it would fall down. Then we knew it was time to harvest the lot from that tree. And then there would be tresspassers who would just jump over to pluck whatever was in sight and within hand's reach. Humans never waited like the birds and bees did. They would tear down even very small ones without a thought.
There was a man who supplied us milk from a distant village. He would cycle all the way each day before dawn. He also had a lot of wisdom about these things since he came from a rural area called Kellambakkam, way beyond Chennai in those days. (Now Kelambakkam is more urban than Chennai! It is the new destination for the hundreds of IT companies and Engineering colleges dotting the Old Mahabalipuram Road, aka Rajiv Gandhi Salai).
What the milkman said made such a lot of sense to me. He said in the villages, any produce is mentally divided into 3 portions or parts. The farmer or owner would know he would get only a third of the produce. The other 2 portions had to be written off for the birds and bees and those trespassing human beings!! I liked his philosphy and it makes the acceptance of such things so much more easier on the mind, instead of worrying who stole our fruits and how to get back at them when we chance to spy them in the act of stealing. Its simply not worth the trouble at all to lose sleep over. The Law of Nature at work.
Chao!
Mahalakshmi.
Each tree would be of a different variety. Like the 7 mango trees bore 7 different varieties of mangoes. Each would have a different seasonal flowering pattern. So there would be mangoes from one tree or the other through the year at home. Some would bear fruits in 1000s and some very rarely and that too only under a dozen like the malgoa variety.
Since our backyard was always evergreen with fruits, raw and ripe, all round the year, there were visitors like the squirrels, crows, insects, birds - all of them getting to taste them first! At first I would wonder when was the best time to harvest the fruits straight from the trees instead of picking dropped ones. It was difficult to guess as the outer color of the skin would have barely changed. It could as well be raw inside and not yet ripe! But my husband would know. He told me to observe. What I found was whenever the fruits were ripe enough, squirrels and crows would start pecking at them. They would never touch a raw mango, jackfruit or guava. When they pecked at it a few times, the stem would give way and it would fall down. Then we knew it was time to harvest the lot from that tree. And then there would be tresspassers who would just jump over to pluck whatever was in sight and within hand's reach. Humans never waited like the birds and bees did. They would tear down even very small ones without a thought.
There was a man who supplied us milk from a distant village. He would cycle all the way each day before dawn. He also had a lot of wisdom about these things since he came from a rural area called Kellambakkam, way beyond Chennai in those days. (Now Kelambakkam is more urban than Chennai! It is the new destination for the hundreds of IT companies and Engineering colleges dotting the Old Mahabalipuram Road, aka Rajiv Gandhi Salai).
What the milkman said made such a lot of sense to me. He said in the villages, any produce is mentally divided into 3 portions or parts. The farmer or owner would know he would get only a third of the produce. The other 2 portions had to be written off for the birds and bees and those trespassing human beings!! I liked his philosphy and it makes the acceptance of such things so much more easier on the mind, instead of worrying who stole our fruits and how to get back at them when we chance to spy them in the act of stealing. Its simply not worth the trouble at all to lose sleep over. The Law of Nature at work.
Chao!
Mahalakshmi.
Friday, November 5, 2010
The Story Of The Stale Almonds!
Some people would ring me up for recipes or for tips to save grocery items from getting rotten, stale or spoilt.
Once such request came (a long time back) from a lady living in Anna Nagar, Chennai. She wanted me to advice her on how to use and what to make of 2 kgs of almonds sitting on her shelf.
2 kgs is a big quantity. Yet 4 or 5 items can be prepared to use up the lot.
I gave her the following suggestions:
1. Dry roast 250gms until crisp. Add a little salt and pepper powder while still warm to enhance taste. Wait until its thoroughly cool. Makes a good snack.
2. Soak a handful of almonds in warm water. De-skin and garnish her breakfast cereal with them.
3. Soak a handful of them in warm water, de-skin, add 1/2 cup of fresh coconut gratings, 1 red chilly, salt to taste. Grind them all into a course paste. Season with spluttered mustard seeds and curry leaves in hot oil. Good as chutney for Idly or Dosa.
4. Soak a handful of them, de-skin and grind to a paste. Boil and cool 250ml of milk. Add 2 teaspoons (or to taste) sugar, a pinch of cardomom powder, mix in the almond paste, refrigerate and a cool drink is ready to enjoy! That's almond thandai.
5. Dry roast and pound it with some red chillies, salt, asoefotida. Store in a clean, dry glass jar. Will stay fresh for 2 weeks. Can have with steamed rice. Good for health. That's almond spicy powder.
I went on with some more recipes on the phone like making a porridge/payasam or a thick gravy for some spicy curry, etc., etc.
All this while she was listening with rapt attention and in perfect silence. I had to ask whether she was still holding the line :D
She said she understood all I told her. Still she had one doubt.
The almonds were at least one year old (read stale)! Is there any way in which these could be revived, made alright, the smell removed, made fit to eat....?
I felt like a punctured tyre at that moment.
I told her there was no way we could make those almonds alright now except to junk them. The oil in the nuts would have turned bad. The taste would be so repulsive that some of us could suffer from food poisoning if we force ourselves to eat it, just because they are costly and we don't want to waste them. (That's when we remember to share it with someone!).
By this time I was laughing uncontrollably at the funny situation.
Anyway I could not put the phone down without giving her 2 more tips on how to save 2 kgs of fresh almonds from going bad, at least in the future :D
1) Pack them in a nice plastic pouch or ziplock bag and place them in the freezer. They will not spoil so fast as when they are left outside. I gave her another idea of splitting quantities into, say 200gms and storing in the freezer. When she needed them for a dish she could pull out just one pack and use it so that the other packs are not opened and re-sealed again!
2) If she could not use the entire quantity then she could share half of it with her relatives or friends when its still in good condition. Almonds are good anti-oxidants and such sharing will not only contribute towards good health but also create loads of goodwill! But this is the hardest part. Of parting with stuff which is still good. Its so easy to share when its spoilt or about to spoil. More on that subject sometime later!
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Once such request came (a long time back) from a lady living in Anna Nagar, Chennai. She wanted me to advice her on how to use and what to make of 2 kgs of almonds sitting on her shelf.
2 kgs is a big quantity. Yet 4 or 5 items can be prepared to use up the lot.
I gave her the following suggestions:
1. Dry roast 250gms until crisp. Add a little salt and pepper powder while still warm to enhance taste. Wait until its thoroughly cool. Makes a good snack.
2. Soak a handful of almonds in warm water. De-skin and garnish her breakfast cereal with them.
3. Soak a handful of them in warm water, de-skin, add 1/2 cup of fresh coconut gratings, 1 red chilly, salt to taste. Grind them all into a course paste. Season with spluttered mustard seeds and curry leaves in hot oil. Good as chutney for Idly or Dosa.
4. Soak a handful of them, de-skin and grind to a paste. Boil and cool 250ml of milk. Add 2 teaspoons (or to taste) sugar, a pinch of cardomom powder, mix in the almond paste, refrigerate and a cool drink is ready to enjoy! That's almond thandai.
5. Dry roast and pound it with some red chillies, salt, asoefotida. Store in a clean, dry glass jar. Will stay fresh for 2 weeks. Can have with steamed rice. Good for health. That's almond spicy powder.
I went on with some more recipes on the phone like making a porridge/payasam or a thick gravy for some spicy curry, etc., etc.
All this while she was listening with rapt attention and in perfect silence. I had to ask whether she was still holding the line :D
She said she understood all I told her. Still she had one doubt.
The almonds were at least one year old (read stale)! Is there any way in which these could be revived, made alright, the smell removed, made fit to eat....?
I felt like a punctured tyre at that moment.
I told her there was no way we could make those almonds alright now except to junk them. The oil in the nuts would have turned bad. The taste would be so repulsive that some of us could suffer from food poisoning if we force ourselves to eat it, just because they are costly and we don't want to waste them. (That's when we remember to share it with someone!).
By this time I was laughing uncontrollably at the funny situation.
Anyway I could not put the phone down without giving her 2 more tips on how to save 2 kgs of fresh almonds from going bad, at least in the future :D
1) Pack them in a nice plastic pouch or ziplock bag and place them in the freezer. They will not spoil so fast as when they are left outside. I gave her another idea of splitting quantities into, say 200gms and storing in the freezer. When she needed them for a dish she could pull out just one pack and use it so that the other packs are not opened and re-sealed again!
2) If she could not use the entire quantity then she could share half of it with her relatives or friends when its still in good condition. Almonds are good anti-oxidants and such sharing will not only contribute towards good health but also create loads of goodwill! But this is the hardest part. Of parting with stuff which is still good. Its so easy to share when its spoilt or about to spoil. More on that subject sometime later!
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Shah Rukh Khan & Hema Malini - Stories of Hurt & Rejection
Read a comment made by the Bollywood actor Shah Rukh Khan on his meeting with Steven Speilburg at some international movie festival (Cannes or somewhere). This must be long time back, though.
Khan was very excited to see Steven who was sitting right next to him in some film festival abroad. Unfortunately there was no response from the great man who looked through our Khan like he was some transparant glass! Khan was upset and commented that Steven must have thought Khan to be some fan-type of person, trying to get some attention. He vowed to prove that he was no fan-type but great star material. Everyone knows his movies have opened at theatres abroad, to housefulls and he has made a name as a successful star.
Yet two things come to my mind:
a)If not for fan-types will these stars survive? But for these fan-types a hero's movie cannot expect to run, why deride them by referring to them this way?
b)Khan should be thankful that someone prodded him on to perform better even if it was just to show that he was no ordinary celebrity-crazy fan-type.
It always happens to all of us in our own lives.
Someone insults us or we think they insulted us.
We remember that insult but they never even have the faintest idea that they insulted or hurt us.
This slight or hurt often propels us to work harder even if it is to prove someone else that we have talent or skill.
I recall reading way back, how a very young Hema Malini, who got a chance to meet Vyjayantimala who was a big star then, din't bother nor oblige her with an autograph. Hema Malini felt very let down due to this. She was nicknamed as the 'dream girl' and later went on to prove herself to be a very successfull Bollywood actress of her times.
Vyjayantimala may not even remember this episode. For Hema Malini, it must have acted as a propeller to work harder to show she was something who mattered in the movie world.
Fan types or not, success is got due to channelling our energies due to someone's failure to recognize us or our talents.
The person who hurts is not important but the hurt getting converted into positive action from inside us is very important. The fire to prove is lit and its upto us to keep the fire burning until we succeed.
I am sure there will not be a single human, who may not have gone through some kind of rejection, failure, hurt in life. We cannot lie down feeling sad forever. We have to get up, get going, perform some action which leads us to overcome this rejection, this failure or this hurt.
Success is most often achieved this way.
May the Festival Of Lights show us all the right path.
May we all prosper with good health, wealth and joy.
Happy Diwali.
Mahalakshmi
Khan was very excited to see Steven who was sitting right next to him in some film festival abroad. Unfortunately there was no response from the great man who looked through our Khan like he was some transparant glass! Khan was upset and commented that Steven must have thought Khan to be some fan-type of person, trying to get some attention. He vowed to prove that he was no fan-type but great star material. Everyone knows his movies have opened at theatres abroad, to housefulls and he has made a name as a successful star.
Yet two things come to my mind:
a)If not for fan-types will these stars survive? But for these fan-types a hero's movie cannot expect to run, why deride them by referring to them this way?
b)Khan should be thankful that someone prodded him on to perform better even if it was just to show that he was no ordinary celebrity-crazy fan-type.
It always happens to all of us in our own lives.
Someone insults us or we think they insulted us.
We remember that insult but they never even have the faintest idea that they insulted or hurt us.
This slight or hurt often propels us to work harder even if it is to prove someone else that we have talent or skill.
I recall reading way back, how a very young Hema Malini, who got a chance to meet Vyjayantimala who was a big star then, din't bother nor oblige her with an autograph. Hema Malini felt very let down due to this. She was nicknamed as the 'dream girl' and later went on to prove herself to be a very successfull Bollywood actress of her times.
Vyjayantimala may not even remember this episode. For Hema Malini, it must have acted as a propeller to work harder to show she was something who mattered in the movie world.
Fan types or not, success is got due to channelling our energies due to someone's failure to recognize us or our talents.
The person who hurts is not important but the hurt getting converted into positive action from inside us is very important. The fire to prove is lit and its upto us to keep the fire burning until we succeed.
I am sure there will not be a single human, who may not have gone through some kind of rejection, failure, hurt in life. We cannot lie down feeling sad forever. We have to get up, get going, perform some action which leads us to overcome this rejection, this failure or this hurt.
Success is most often achieved this way.
May the Festival Of Lights show us all the right path.
May we all prosper with good health, wealth and joy.
Happy Diwali.
Mahalakshmi
Monday, November 1, 2010
Too Late!
We are caught up in a world of activities which, at times, leaves us no time to keep promises.
This was told to me by a person who was feeling very bad and needed to sound out her emotions one day.
A friend 'Z' was sick with cancer. 'Z' had asked her good friend 'X' to stitch her a blouse since the one stitched earlier by 'X' was comfortable. X promised to get one ready. Time passed by. Then one fine day after almost an year after the request, 'X' sat down to stitch the blouse at last. Then the blouse was lying at home for anther 6 months for want of time to see and give it to 'Z' when she passes by that side which never happened.
Then came the news that 'Z' passed away. X felt so bad that she could not find time to give her friend 'Z' the joy of wearing the blouse which was in fact ready 6 months ago. Perhaps the friend was not fated to wear the blouse.
X could never get over this frustratingly, sad feeling.
When we think of giving someone something or helping out someone, it better be actioned quickly as tomorrow may be too late.
Mahalakshmi.
This was told to me by a person who was feeling very bad and needed to sound out her emotions one day.
A friend 'Z' was sick with cancer. 'Z' had asked her good friend 'X' to stitch her a blouse since the one stitched earlier by 'X' was comfortable. X promised to get one ready. Time passed by. Then one fine day after almost an year after the request, 'X' sat down to stitch the blouse at last. Then the blouse was lying at home for anther 6 months for want of time to see and give it to 'Z' when she passes by that side which never happened.
Then came the news that 'Z' passed away. X felt so bad that she could not find time to give her friend 'Z' the joy of wearing the blouse which was in fact ready 6 months ago. Perhaps the friend was not fated to wear the blouse.
X could never get over this frustratingly, sad feeling.
When we think of giving someone something or helping out someone, it better be actioned quickly as tomorrow may be too late.
Mahalakshmi.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
The Making Of Crisp Dosas At Kakinada
When I was in college, I was selected to represent at an inter-collegiate sports event. We travelled as a group to Kakinada from Hyderabad in the year 1972.
We had such fun singing songs, joking, eating together. It was an unforgettable trip. We won prizes for our college.
What made me think of Kakinada today all of a sudden?
I was on my way to attend a function at Madipakkam. On the way I saw a person sweep a hot plate with a broom (slender leaves of a coconut tree are slit leaving thin and long twigs which when dried, are bunched together, secured with a string and then used as a broom).
Hot plates are used to spread the dosa batter. After each batch of dosa, the hot plate is sprinkled with water and the surface swept with the broom, then the next batch of dosas are made.
I saw this at Kakinada in the hostel we were put up for the sports event. In the kitchen, I could see the chefs sprinkling water on the hot granite slab, sweeping it away with a broom, then spreading dosa batter. Those dosas were heavenly as they were cooked evenly on slow fire from wooden logs underneath. The hot plate was a thick granite slab. These were big surprises for me. I learnt that brooms were not meant just for sweeping the courtyards and bathrooms, it can be used on the kitchen hot plate too!
That granite slabs can be used instead of tawas for making large scale dosas or rotis.
The broom and hot plate in a Madipakkam roadside hotel, brought back memories of that Kakinada trip today.
Mahalakshmi.
We had such fun singing songs, joking, eating together. It was an unforgettable trip. We won prizes for our college.
What made me think of Kakinada today all of a sudden?
I was on my way to attend a function at Madipakkam. On the way I saw a person sweep a hot plate with a broom (slender leaves of a coconut tree are slit leaving thin and long twigs which when dried, are bunched together, secured with a string and then used as a broom).
Hot plates are used to spread the dosa batter. After each batch of dosa, the hot plate is sprinkled with water and the surface swept with the broom, then the next batch of dosas are made.
I saw this at Kakinada in the hostel we were put up for the sports event. In the kitchen, I could see the chefs sprinkling water on the hot granite slab, sweeping it away with a broom, then spreading dosa batter. Those dosas were heavenly as they were cooked evenly on slow fire from wooden logs underneath. The hot plate was a thick granite slab. These were big surprises for me. I learnt that brooms were not meant just for sweeping the courtyards and bathrooms, it can be used on the kitchen hot plate too!
That granite slabs can be used instead of tawas for making large scale dosas or rotis.
The broom and hot plate in a Madipakkam roadside hotel, brought back memories of that Kakinada trip today.
Mahalakshmi.
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