Parenting

In the course of my work I come across people who complain about caring for babies.
For whatever reasons. Its been over a long period of time I have observed some things about managing babies.

Here are some of my personal views on the subject.

When the system of joint families was in vogue not long back, there was comfort in the feeling that you have someone else also looking out for your baby. A grandparent will keep the baby occupied, take him out for a walk, feed, when you had to concentrate on your share of work. All that seems to have disappeared with nuclear families becoming so popular.

Since the nuclear family consists of the father, mother and the baby, with one of the parent, usually the father out on work, most hours in a day, leaves the mother having to care for the baby all on her own.
The caring part becomes difficult if the baby is irritable, cries a lot, does not eat properly or refuses to sleep on time.
The mother gets tired, both on physical as well as mental level. She cannot rest when the kid eats or rests. She must do her other jobs around house, when the baby is sleeping.
She too becomes irritable and wishes she were not the only one to take care of the baby. At times she will gladly trust her baby with anyone who offers to look after her baby, even if it were for a few hours. She could get that desperate and many will blame her for being so careless about the safety of the baby.

Her husband comes home equally tired from office or work. Has time to relax before the TV or sits at the computer, eat, (comment, if the food is not ok!), go to sleep. Understandable. But the woman's condition is never understood in a compassionate way.
This is where the girl's parents come in handy. They not only take care of the baby but leave the couple to have some time with each other. But again there are men who dislike their in-laws staying with them for many reasons, little realising that the wife who stays home is perhaps over-worked than him at office! Its still a man's world.
If the woman is working, then God save the kid and the couple, if there is no help available. It's a life of tension all the way.

I have come across women who have refused to go back to their husbands when they have had deliveries and had demands on their time and emotions from over-bearing husbands besides looking after the baby. Caring for babies is not about following rules and regulations written in books. Emotional stress builds up over a period of time but we all somehow seem to go through it.
When a mother looks at the baby's smiling face, her day is made. It cheers her on to care for her child against all odds. Wonder what single parents without anyone to help, go through emotionally. It could be very difficult indeed.

Mahalakshmi.