Stock Markets and Share Trading - 2

Dear Friends,

Both myself and my husband were successful in our small business engineering related venture from the year 1996 and were also making good money at stocks through long term investments.

I remember our tripling investments on a particular share called SAFE in just 45 days which was unbelievable in the past, but these were modern times, nay the period called the Harshad Mehta period. There was so much activity in a range of shares across differnt types of businesses. No analysis, pure speculation, pure gamble and all those who played the game made profits proportionate to the money invested. this went on till 1999.

This was a crucial year in more ways than one. Many changes were happening in different spheres of our lives. Our business was sliding southwards, more and more money spent on fighting a court case involving a family property involving an outsider alongwith the slow erosion of whatever profits, savings and earnings we had in the past. It was as if someone was moving us along a destructive path, over which we had no control. We lost in the share markets. We spent a lot in court matters. The silver lining was that we won the court case after a long struggle but got no immediate financial relief out of that win. After a while we became insensitive to all that was happening to us. We just pulled along, deep in our failures life was dealing us with. Yet the faith and belief that the share market would turn around and we would soon be out of all our financial troubles kept us going from worse to worst.

The brokers had a big part to play too. First they would allow their clients an amount to order shares without paying the entire amount upfront. I think its like the current credit card system where the banks tempt us to spend money which we dont have, which we can later pay up in instalments, which we do not know whether we can indeed pay or not! The brokers would encourage us to put through our deals yet when we could not make any profits on a deal, we were forced to sell and close the deal even if it meant we made losses - big or small. This is how losses pile up for everyone who deals in shares.

Many might question our wisdom in continuing with it even if we made losses in trades. But that is exactly what it was during that time. A time came when we were simply not able to pull through anything which was all happening at one and the same time anymore.

I could not bear the shock of loss anymore. I suffered sleepless nights, digestive problems, fear of tomorrows, chest pain, became secretive about these things. Both of us would talk hush hush about these things and try to manage the situation somehow on our own until we just could not.

But there were many who traded without the knowledge of their wives or husbands even until it was too deeply a gone case. The feeling that tomorrow will be another new day and that it will bring some profits made the world go round.
Many of us were unable to cut ourselves from this vicious cycle. We, who prided ourselves for having made double and triple money on our investments were not sure anymore. I was not too sure anymore about the share markets being a good source to make our money and that was a major turning point in my life.

The year was 2000 and what a hell it was. Soon better sense prevailed and I opted out completely by not turning in that direction at all.
Only later I knew I had made the best decision of my life by cutting myself off from share market activities.
There were debts to be paid but at least it would mean no more added debts to the already existing ones. One sister lent me support which I will always be grateful for. Those were hurtful years. Anyone commenting badly about me was most unwelcome. All and any help was welcome. But the indebtedness was eating at my insides making me feel so guilty of the state that I had walked into when I could have been left with so much of our savings intact.

We are educated, knowledgeable, read up and update ourselves of the current status yet these things visit us to make our lives upside down.

I was not my normal previous self. I knew I needed help and I wanted a diversion of mind and thinking, away from the present hopeless state of mind. Learning Astrology through divine providence was the result. It was a struggle to learn this subject as I had no idea about it at all except for an interest in the occult sciences like numerology, palmistry, western zodiac system from my college days. But not the Hindu astrology. Of which I dint know the A of astrology to begin with.
I learnt it through constant study. Day and night, my waking hours were spent in studying notes on the subject. That was what saved me from getting into depression perhaps.

I have not looked back since then.
If today I am able to guide others on a positive path it is due to the struggles in my personal life than all my theoritical knowledge. Life has taught never to give up or remain in such a sorry state for long. Get up and get moving. Divert your mind to other things or learn a new hobby which will not encourage you into more speculation of some kind.

I watch the ups and downs of the share markets day in and day out even now but without a feeling of any exitement. My mind treats it as any other peice of news that I might read up in the newspapers as a routine, everyday affair.

Re-organize your life. Move on. Divert your mind from the temptations.
Cheers!
Mahalakshmi